WEEKEND LOVE

Weekend love
Gonna spend a weekend love
Weekend love
Just a case of weekend love

Queen Latifah- weekend love





This weekend was cold as hell. So on friday night I decided to go stock up on winter stuff. I called Ma Dukes while I was out, big mistake. She is very over-protective and told me that friday nights is when pick pockets go out cause they know thats when people get paid. She said if I stayed out something might happen to me but maybe I should cause she needs the life insurance check (thanks mom).I told her that check should go to my youngest sister cause shes about to lose her house, mom disagreed. When I told my lil mama about this she did a double take




LOL she said since me and her are about to get married that check should go to her. I'M NOT DEAD!!. I felt like Cliff Huxtable, if I died y'all should be in too much mourning to even be thinking about a check....right? The other funny thing about that is the fact my family wouldn't give a damn if we was married or not they would not sit quietly by and watch her get paid off their little brother, esp cause she got kids not from me. But my lil mama's a G and doesnt back down from shit, especially when moneys concerned. I have to stay alive just to keep the peace.

What else?, oh yeah

Dallas black and raiderwifee think I've got some secret stash of gifs that I'm not sharing.Lol they acting like I'm Nino Brown keeping my connect secret. I still love y'all though



Now that I got that other shit out of the way, you know a weekend post wouldn't be complete without my super and neighbors. Friday I saw my super outside doing the trash so I went over to say hi. I tried to make as much noise as I could but I still caught his old ass by suprise.I said hi and he jumped about 20 feet in the air. He jerked his head around looking for where I was and I felt so bad. He tried to act cool but I could tell I scared him cause he was stuttering at first. I'm glad he didn't have a heart attack cause I wasn't gonna give him no mouth to mouth.

Sunday- my neighbors invited me over, I bring my goofy ass over and almost passed out




They had like 3 ladies over there just chilling. Girls poppin and droppin to some music. The dudes were mixing drinks and getting their weed situation together. I go to one of them to get some orange juice and he tells me the cutie sitting on the couch is for me. I spit my orange juice out. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN SHE'S FOR ME? Long story short there was an extra girl and they wanted me to take her to my place while they had sex with the other two. I told them no I don't get down like that, they tried to tell me my lil mama would never find out so whats the problem? I would hate it if my lil mama cheated on me so I'm not gonna cheat on her.

I go back to my place and while I'm writing the beginning of this post I get a knock on my door and when I open it there's two drunk and high girls standing in my doorway giggling with nothing but a blanket on.



They asked me why I was being so shy and could they come in cause it was cold outside. I was tempted y'all, I cant even lie. But I told them my girl was on the way over (she wasn't) and she'd shoot me if she found some buttnaked girls running around. When did I start using my brain? The old me would have at least got some head or something, but now I'm all rational and saying those girls are so loose they probably got an STD or something. Meanwhile my boys are next door having the time of their lives sigh.... I am about to get married so I can't be messing around with these little skip skops.I feel like that old Dave Hollister video "One woman man" where all the girls are hollering at him and he's saying no and goes home to his wife and kids. I wanna tell my lil mama cause I want some type of credit for turning down some free head but I think she'd come over here and start kicking everyone's ass (including my supers old ass) for letting naked girls run around here.So...how was your weekend?

DON'T FORGET MY GUEST BLOG

RANDOM

This post is gonna be mad random because I'm just swamped these days as far as work and personal life.Maintaining a blog is harder than it seems.

*My oldest sister I love her with all my heart but the girl is a certified dodo brain.One time I had a really really old piece of shit car. I was getting a new car and I asked her to sell the old one for a measly $200. I could have got more but just wanted the car out of my life.Tell me why a couple weeks later I show up to get my snaps and she told me she only sold the car for $100




THIS GIRL CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! I asked her why,

Big sis: well the girl didn't wanna pay the full price cause the windshield has a crack in it,and the passenger window doesn't roll down

me: (cutting her off) WHAT THE FUCK SHE WAS EXPECTING FOR $200 A ROLLS ROYCE?

BS: I felt bad so I gave it to her for $100

me: sigh.... so wheres the $100

BS: well what had happened was.....

Sigh.What else? oh yeah,for the most part I've stopped posting about my lil mama for now.There is a lot of stuff going on and it's not fair for either of us for me to constantly tell y'all bad things about her. She's a really great person and always hearing about how many obstacles are in my way because of her is starting to make some of my real friends not like her and that is kind of unfair cause she's really terrific and should get a fair shot. One of my friends told me I should end it because it doesn't seem like she's bringing anything to the table. They were kinda right but I can't dump her cause someone else said so, but the more I say what we're going through the more I make myself look like a chump. I don't wanna be one of those people who look stupid cause they always complain about something but never change it.I wish I could come on here and tell y'all about all kinds of great dates we go on and we're planning trips to vegas and LA and fancy candlelight dinners and all that TI whatever you like kind of shit but I'd be lying.Long story short, I'm not living the kind of life I'd be living if I wasn't with her. I don't care , I know she's one in a million and I'm just gonna ride this shit out and see where we end up . But it's been my recent experience that not everybody sees that as a noble thing. Some of my peeps think I'm downright stupid.I kinda started this blog because there are so many things I can't say in my real life but alas even here I have to look at what kind of image I put out. I guess in all aspects she has to remain my little secret. As usual any input you have on this is encouraged.


*Saturday night was drinking night. our super came by the spot already drunk and invited us to come over and drink. I didnt have any and thank god i didn't. He got on the turntables and played I always feel like somebody's watching me over and over again. I wasn't even drunk and I moonwalked my ass off so imagine if I was.Then my super proceeds to tell us how last week he smashed out this old lady who lives around us



he even started reenacting it by doing the girl pushups, needless to say we broke the hell out. We watched a bootleg of righteous kill (movie was ehhhhh...). Super comes over and in his drunken foolishness pulls out a $50 and gives it to my neighbors to buy some more beers and stuff to bring back to him. Mannnnnn they grubbed their asses off with that money. I paid for my own food cause im not grimey like that, but they are. They bought mad smirnoffs from the store and we finished watching the movie buzzed out of this world. Not so much me, I only had one cause they kept begging me. The next morning I passed by their door on the way to the store and the super was banging on the door like fred flintstone and shit

Super: Hey yall what the fuck happened to yall last night? and wheres my change? I gave y'all $50. I know y'all in there!!!!!

I just kept walking and laughed to myself, man these are some crazy people.So....what's new with you?

WEEKEND LOVE

Pretty boring weekend. I worked everyday.Last night I went over my neighbors and realized they are gay.



I don't know if they know it yet. One of them went and took a shower, me and the big one was in the kitchen talking. He goes to say something at the bathroom door and realized his roommate left it unlocked. He decides to fill up a cup with cold water and runs in there to throw it on the dude showering



I don't know what part of the game that is but I would jump out of a window to avoid seeing someones schlong but maybe that's just me. So I'm in the kitchen wondering if I'm safe and I hear them in there fussing.

Skinny one: Yo if you throw that water on me I SWEAR....

Big one: say I wont, I dare you

I asked them about it and they said I was tripping and they were just foolin around. They were mad I even would think something like that, I was mad that I almost witnessed a smash session going down. I been looking at them funny ever since lol. I guess if you grew up with brothers you did stuff like this but I didn't have any other dude around so I'm uncomfortable with stuff like that. My lil mama laughed and told me to watch out. She said they gonna turn me out and ima be giving two snaps and a twist soon



My lil mama said she has a friend that when they would get ready for the club the girl would get buttnaked in front of my girl. Lil mama said she couldn't do that and would always dress in the bathroom. To you ladies out there how comfortable are you with being in your underwear around your friends? is it a double standard if dudes are in their drawers around each other? I NEED ANSWERS DAMMIT!!!!!!

Anyway after the skinny one gets out of the shower he goes to his room to get dressed while I watched the kimbo slice fight.Kimbo got his ass whooped, its sad to see your hero get beat down. Its like seeing your dad lose a fight.Skinny comes out and has a major problem that he needs help with. He needs help tying his kanye scarf



Sigh....everything they do looks so fruity to me now. Our super drops by and tries to get us to come over and drink, we can tell he's had a couple already. We throw on some music real quick and he starts dancing.Then he did it...he started doing the pushups again. I had flashbacks of me joining him in pushups,busting my lip,hurling fruit cocktail into the toilet for 5 min straight and I told him no I would not be joining him in drinking tonight.

What else? why do my bill collectors call me from weird places like Wisconsin like I don't know thats them? like I just have random goblins in nebraska and such and I will pick up the phone

What else? Oh yeah , my niece (yes THAT one) got baptized. I'm proud of that little heathen. Hopefully she gets filled with the spirit and stops acting so grown. There was a time when I was very religious (like 19) and I wanted to get baptized but I am kind of shy at being on the spot and didn't wanna get up in front of a bunch of people and having to give a speech about my faith,getting dunked etc... It does bother me though when they pass around communion and I cant have no crackers cause I'm not baptized. I'll have to solve that sometime soon.

What else ? Oh yeah, one of my boys has been under a lot of stress due to the recession and having a wife and kid to take care of. He told me he's become so stressed he's become impotent. DAMN!!!!!! THATS SOME STRESS FOR YOUR ASS!!!! He did womp womp womp me to death but I let him talk his shit cause I know how it is sometimes.Women always expect you to be some kind of superman that never worries or get stressed but life is tough sometimes.Holding all that in must be killing him, especially when your woman doesn't wanna hear how bad things are and just wants solutions.My lil mama is like that sometimes, when things are really bad she doesn't wanna hear anything else on top of that. So you keep it all in and pretend everything is alright. That's the burden of being a man sometimes, you have to take the pain and shield everyone else from it. BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET THIS RECESSION MAKE ME IMPOTENT

That was my weekend, how was yours?

p.s. DONT FORGET MY GUESTBLOG!!!!

NEVER SAY NEVER

Fuck all that, I'm saying never. I am never ever ever drinking again.The last few weekends I have been hanging out with my friends who live a few doors down from me. They drink and I do it too just because. Last night our super invited us to come and knock a few back with him. He has the vodka but needs the other fixings. I go to the store with one of the dudes and buy the fruit cocktail. For whatever reason he does not buy the Sprite and we walk back home across the street. After like 30 min of nothing happening I go over their spot and ask what's up and they say if I buy the soda they will pay me back. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT 30 MIN AGO??? Now I really need a drink cause my nerves are too bad.

Anyway, we get to our super's and he starts womp womp womping us to death

super: I got this new plan to take all these old records I got and put them on cd to make exercise music. You see all these fat ladies walking around here? If they had some motivational music they would wanna exercise more........




He had already been drinking before we got there so his old ass is almost bouncing off the walls. He even drops on the floor and starts doing some girl push ups to show us he still got it.Bless his heart, his old ass aint do one REAL push up.He was just flexing his shoulders if you ask me. Anyway he makes the first round of drinks and I leave this atmosphere and was somewhere on mars when he starts recording the intro to his exercise tape.....while he's drunk.

super: Hey now ladies, this is for all y'all who ain't seen your poom poom in 2 years cause your gut hanging all over it. You got to lift up that gut and show him what you got.....


I am laughing my ass off in the corner with my drink cause I know he ain't gonna sell one damn copy



I mean who wants to work out to the Delfonics? After another drink I am no longer on mars but somewhere in the future and he starts womp womp womping us again.

Super: I figure if I charge $5.00 each cd and get some of yall to sell em for me, we could sell 100 a day and make $500 everyday

my friend: times 7 days a week that would be three hundred and fifty dollars

my reaction to this:



O......K we won't be letting him handle the money. The music starts back up and we grooving to all kinds of James Brown and Gap Band type stuff. The vodka has wrecked our systems like a tsunami on a small indian village. At one point everyone starts egging me on and I start doing the only dance I know



I moonwalked in place for like 20 min nonstop. I WAS GONE ON THAT WATER WATER!! I even took a couple videos and sent them to my friends and my lil mama. At this point my super starts doing the girl push ups again. I try to show him how to do a man's push up but because of the vodka I misjudge the floor and basically dive face first into the carpet and bust my lip. I jump back up and start moonwalking again and keep referring to my super as "Tito". I know you are saying to yourself where are the women at? There were none. This was a full unbridled sausage fest to the tenth power




A bunch of dudes dancing,drinking and doing push ups. CORNBREAD,NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!! By now the booze is finished and we go back to my friends spot. We shoot the shit for a little bit and the real tall one says he wants the Sprite I bought. I tell him he can't have my cornbread cause I'm from New York City. We shoot the shit for a little while longer and they start passing out in their beds so I walk home.

I wake up 7 hours later and I have the ill hangover.I go in the bathroom and dry heave for like 10 min,after that I just heave up all the fruit cocktail from the previous night. I promise myself that the yt man's nectar will never touch my lips again and head back to bed. My mouth is sooooooo dry at this point and I almost walk across the street to the store when I remember I left the nearly full sprite at my friends house. I go in there and he tells me the big one woke up early and straight guzzled my soda and passed out again. I look at my phone and I have all kinds of text messages asking me why am I moonwalking in the video and why I keep yelling at "Tito" to hold the camera straight?

So.... that was my saturday night, what did you do?