Lobster and scrimps

Karen and I had our first date, sighhh where do I begin? She was 3
hrs late!!! We made plans all week to meet up saturday at noon because
I have to go to work at 3:30. We even confirmed friday night at like
3am. She calls me sat at 9 am to tell me she would meet me at 1
because she didn't get enough sleep when we got off the phone. So
that's 1 hour off right there I told her I don't mind as long as we
are done at 3:30 so I can get off work. I get some more sleep and get
ready. We were supposed to go to Ruth's Chris. She calls me while I'm
by the restaurant and says it will be around 1:45. So we are close to
2 hours off schedule now and I tell her to remember that I have to
leave for work at 3:30.

She ends up getting to the area around 2:30ish and it takes forever
for her to find parking. She tells me that her sister asked to get in
the bathroom before her and took forever, then her brother ran in
there and took a long time so that why she was so late, whatever. She
ends up parking around 3:00 and I tell her that all we can do is grab
a slice, she says she doesn't really eat pizza like that. At this
point it is pretty obvious I'm a little peeved from waiting around all
day and now our date is canceled. She drops me by my job and promises
to come see me after work. Before I get out the car we hug and she
says she doesn't want to kiss me because she doesn't want to smear her
lipstick. I told her she can reapply it and she says true and we sit
in the car kissing for a while.

She calls me at 11:56 but I was still working,I get off work at
midnight and I call her,no answer.I text her,no answer.I am getting
frustrated because its hella cold outside and I have no idea why she
aint pickin up. I call her intermittently over the course of an hour
and get to the point where I'm sending her some pretty surly texts
lol. I tell her how its bullshit that she already was 3 hrs late
earlier and now I'm waiting for her again.I told her I was pissed off
and was going home. Before I can jump my sexy ass on the train she
called back apologizing,turns out she was parked close by my job and
took a little cat nap while she was waiting for me and dozed all the
way off. I believed her but at the same time I am a little skeptical.
My ex was the worst liar on planet earth so I don't trust anyone far
as I can throw them as a result of that.

We go to Applebee's and soon as the waiter comes over I knew I was in
trouble. He asks her what she wants to drink and I'm expecting her to
say like a coke or dr pepper this chick says a daquiri and starts
describing what kind of flavoring she wants in there. The waiter was
trying to work with me and asked if she wanted a regular and she said
she wanted the mucho size.....oh brother,let me break out the
checkbook.

This chick gets extra FRENCH and orders a big ass steak with shrimps
melted on top of it with cheese. Steak with shrimps on top of it!?! I
never even heard of that before, isn't that a bit much? that's like a
shark with a laser strapped to its head. She gets all kinds of loaded
mashed potatoes n extra shit I've never heard of. I told the guy to
give me a half slab of ribs and he said they don't do half slabs.
That's a damn lie cause I've had a half slab from applebees before.

The check comes out to $96, 82 plus the $14 gratuity.I make sure the
guy knows I've tipped him by mentioning the $14. He makes this
pathetic face and says he has to share that with the whole wait staff
and now I feel bad. He was an african Amistad looking kid,prolly
trying to pay his way through school. Why am I such a pushover? I give
him a couple of bucks for himself.

I love how cheap women are when they are alone but let somebody else
be paying for it then all of a sudden they are pronouncing the names
of rare french wines correctly with the proper accents and all. Do
yall do that on purpose ladies? Ball out cause someone else paying?
All my homies said they would have DEMANDED some ass if it was them. I
don't know how to be grimey and up front like them. I do know I gotta
make sure my pockets are proper before going out with this chick
again. Just dinner almost wiped me out but dinner AND an
activity?..... Boy looky here.

All in all it was a very good date,real hot girl,great food,real good
conversation. We even kissed some more as she dropped me by my train.
I didn't like the punctuality issues or the bill but I guess the bill
is just part of dating. I def wanna see her some more.

The next morning I went to brunch with a friend of mine to laugh about
the previous nights date. Look at me!!!! Having a life and shit. We
drank mimosas, which I learned is orange juice and champagne. I got
stupid drunk in the middle of the day. I know she was laughing cause I
was chowing down on the toast like it was school free lunch lol. That
shit was good!! She has a really funky style, she reminds me of
Solange. Anytime we meet up I can always spot her from a distance
cause her hair is so funky and free,just like her.

After brunch we took pictures and looked at the fish in the fish tanks
(yeah we were pretty blitzed) and went to bryant park and the candy
store. We decided to make it kind of a constant thing to meet up in
the city to talk about our fablous lives. That sounds very gay and sex
and the cityish now that I think about it......

COAST TO COAST LA TO CHICAGO

You know how when you are off the market there are people that would GET IT if you were free but youre not? Well I had somebody from the blogworld on my list. I been emailing her,visiting her site,what have you for like a year and a half now. She always got something slick to say with her mouth, and she tells the funniest stories plus when she talks about sex it sounds like she so good and freaky at it that i HAD to get at her soon as i was able to.

Like i said me and her been talking for a min so I knew she was tired of the guys she was fucking with as well, plus it seemed she was feeling me a little too so i thought it would be a sure thing. Me and her both liked messing with each other, we both liked to fuck and wanted some no strings attached loving, she was broke and I was horny, sounds like a guarantee right? NO!!!!!

I hollered at her and the convo went kinda like this

me: hey whats up,you know im single now and i been wanting to do things to you for the LONGEST, so whats up?

her: huh, me?

me: yeah, i been feeling you but i couldnt do anything cause i had a girl so whats up?

her : you like me? like me like me? wow

me: uhhh...... yeah i like you. I think you are so funny blah blah blah and would love to come take you out on a date and do some nasty things to you

her: Lol oh wow this is coming outta nowhere,I didnt know you liked me.im blown away

me:sigh ok but whats your answer, yes, no, get lost?

her: Lol i just didnt see this coming. how we gonna fuck if we live in 2 different states?

me:ima either come to you or you come here

her:you wanna fly me where you are???? just for sex?? Lol wow

me:yeah.....i told you i been wanting you for a while so im willing to do that.aint you ever had a dude willing to do anything to get a piece of you?



This went on like this till i was so turned off i didnt even want to anymore. She was acting so brand new. If she said I was wack and didnt want me, I could have accepted that and moved on but she couldnt stop giggling long enough to give me real talk. I think the problem is her self esteem is too high right now. I'll get her when she realizes that im the best shes gonna get. I seen her picture and she had too much hope in her eyes,just kidding....kinda. Sighh thats how you know I been out the game for too long. Even getting a piece of ass is hard to do.

I GOTS MY FREEDOM PAPERS!!!

Its been a long time coming but the day is finally here: I am
single!!! HIP HOP HURRRAAYY HOOOOOOO HEEEEEEYYY HOOOOOOO!!!!!! I feel like somebody gettin outta jail after a bid.I'm not really sure what
the kids are up to these days,not sure how I should dress,but I'm
happy to be seen. There are so many possibilities now that I don't
know where to begin.I plan to open my myspace back up so whenever I travel or do something, my friends can see the pictures and know that I am better than them.

I will use this blog to document all the crazy things that come with
being back on the market after a long time off.I plan to do a lot of
dating, a lot of traveling and a WHOLE lot of fucking. It feels
sooooooo good to be back (eminem voice).

I plan on being single for a long time if not forever.sometimes you
have to experience something bad to know what you want in life.I don't wanna be so in love again that I let someone treat me bad because I'm scared to leave.I want to have options and not just 1 person I have to depend on. If I can't get 1 girl on the phone for some conversation
then I will call someone else.I'm not gonna sit around waiting for a
call for 3 days like I did with my lil mama. No sirree bob.I also
don't want someone so financially dependent on me that I have to
sacrifIce on my happiness. With my lil mama I had to work every single day just to keep our heads above water,I don't want nothing like that
again.

To all my daters out there, how do you date in the digital age? Do you
give someone you just met your twitter/myspace/facebook? If not what do you do when they ask? How do you date 3 or 4 people when they can be all in your business at any given time? I'm not planning on being a player but I don't want someone I used to talk to all on my myspace
looking at who's commenting me now.sighhhhh

First day back and I already had an encounter. Was walking down the
street and saw this girl with the CRAZIEST shape you can imagine.she
was with her 2 homegirls and normally I woulda been intimiated but I
said fuck it.I approached them,told the 2 hating bitches to step to
the side and pulled the one I liked over. We talked for a few,she's
from virginia and is in town for a last weekend with her girls before
she gets married next week....womp womp wooomp.its all good though,the point is even though I'm a little bit rusty,its only a matter of time before I have a whole STABLE of honeys. After all the city has 8
million stories.

DISCUSS

12-Year-Old Boy Raped By Fiend He Met On Xbox
Eric Krangel January 27, 2009 5:16 PM

Utterly horrifying. Police in Parma, Ohio have arrested Codey Hawks, 19, for allegedly raping a 12-year-old boy he met on Microsoft's (MSFT) Xbox Live service.

Here's everything we know so far, from local media:

Parma police arrested a teenager accused of repeatedly raping a 12-year-old boy.

Police said Codey R. Hawks, 19, met the boy via his computer through Xbox online live a year ago. Xbox is a video game system.

Hawks then traveled from Michigan to Parma Jan. 15 and was staying with the boy, officers said.

Hawks was arrested Monday. He is in the Cuyahoga County Jail.

He was charged with rape and sexual imposition.

We've long known all sorts of anti-social behavior occurs on the videogame console online services, but this crosses all lines. Expect congressional investigations into videogames, calls for greater restrictions on videogame sex and violence, lawsuits, etc as this one plays out.


http://www.alleyinsider.com/2009/1/12-year-old-boy-raped-by-adult-fiend-he-met-on-xbox

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How in DE HELL!!!!!! does a 12 year old boy come home with a grown man he met on the internet and you let him stay over your house overnight? That's the part I don't get. Even if I did let him come over and play super mario, I woulda sat there and watched them like a hawk






All I know is if I brought home a friend that actually was my age my mom would have ran their fingerprints, so I just can't grasp this new style of parenting. Me and my lil mama kept laughing at the part that said "repeatedly raped". If you 12 and you get raped once that is so tragic. But if you get REPEATEDLY raped then y'all was fucking. I'm sorry to say. You know if a man bust a good nut he going right to sleep so that was enought time to run. If he raped you, y'all played a round of super smash bros, then he raped you again, that's not rape thats a date

*two snaps and a twist*

SO I CREEP...

I've porked a few fatties in my youth, I admit it.



a couple sasquatches and one certified booger bear.why they the ones who always wanna be claimed and shit? you ever just had a fling with someone just to blow off some steam and they think y'all "together"?

80 degrees as i tell that trick please
raise up off these N-U-T-S
cause you gets none of these
at ease


one time i was going through a lot of stuff and i met this chick one saturday night while i was out trying to clear my head. She wasn't the hottest girl out there but i needed a pick me up. DON'T JUDGE ME Y'ALL I WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT OF SHIT!!!. I got the digits (back then it was still cool to say got the digits) we conversated a few times, and we set up a smash session for later that week.

It was good y'all.I cant even lie, Queen Latifah's little sister BROKE ME OFF. We was originally just supposed to go out and make out a little but on the way home i pulled over to 7-11 and got her chunky ass a big gulp. I guess all that syrup + the jodeci blend tape (HOO YEAH!!!!) + the glade air freshener i positioned strategically in front of the air vent + my natural mackadociousness was just too much for her.

we started bustin a goobin in her driveway but her pops was home so we moved it over to my crib.I got topped off on the drive home, she musta thought it was a corn dog or something. We got to my room and it was on!!

LIKE TWO GORILLAS IN THE JUNGLE MAKING LOVE!!!

what would you doooooooo for a klondike bar? I put it on her big ass, or at least I tried to. Remember when Xscape sang about the softest place on earth? I found it lying on her stomach. Lol the funniest part of that night was i was playing R kelly half on a baby (I used to have the mixtapes for that azz!) and she stood up on my bed and straddled me and started dancing to the music like she thought it was turning me on. All I could think was "Lord if this big bitch falls on me its a wrap".

After a while of laying in the bed listening to 702 etc.. she starts saying how cool she thinks I am and she dont wanna just be a fuck to me,she wanna be my lady and go out to eat womp womp womp



shoulda thought of that before you gave up the panty draws big chops.

**break** before you start calling me a douchebag,you need to know 3 things

1) I'd just gotten out of like 3 bad relationships in a row of women taking advantage of me

2) I was very young

3) I dont give a fuck. This is my blog, thats how it works.sike!! :)

So now im ready for her to go so I start throwing all kinds of hints

me: what time is it? 2:30??? damn i gotta lot of shit to do tomorrow. I gotta pick my aunt up from the airport....

big chops: you got a shirt I can sleep in?





DAMN!!! now ima have to buy her breakfast. ol hungry rooty tooty fresh and fruity eatin ass

IM DATING YOU NOT YOUR MOM

I used to go with this girl Brown Sugar for a while.she actually was my girlfriend, not a slumpbuster,not a dennys jumpoff not a chick who called me to get a bill paid but my actual girlfriend. The thing with her ,actually ONE of the things with her was her mom was all up in our business!! damn mama raise up off these N-U-T-S!!

I'll show up to take Sugar to work and her mama would send me somewhere to go pick her up something. BITCH IM ON A SCHEDULE!! i tried to park outside and wait for her to come outside ,her mama puts her head out the window "What you sittin out there fo? come in boy" FUUCCKKKK

dont get it mixed up.i know a lot of people love it when their in laws like them but this heifer was crazy.youd show up for a date and her mama would tell you a 45 minute story of how she met ving rhames in a airport in las vegas.youd get confused as to who you was actually on the date with.one time we was in a restaurant and me and brown sugar ate and when the waitress came around to clean up she ordered another meal.

n0- damn you still hungry?

Brown S- no thats for my mama


so i take her out to eat i gotta bring her mom a meal too.shit was like that all the time.shed ask me to pull over at the cingular store

n0- i thought you had t mobil?

B.S. - I do. They about to cut my mamas phone off.can you loan me $50

**break** why women always ask you to borrow something they know they aint gonna pay back. If yall say cause she gonna pay you back in coochie im donkey konging all yall

Women dont be understanding the financial strain of dating sometimes.We be just as broke as yall but we just manage to SQUEEZE a lil sumn extra out sometimes to go somewhere with yall.then yall start getting all french and like Rick Ross you wanna push it to the limit. Im a man with pride ,i dont like having to tell my woman i cant afford something.If we take yall out to dinner and we about to go to the movies don be saying "I gotta stop at sephora real quick and pick up a couple things" cause if your man dont really got it inside hes saying FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!! now i gotta see if sprint will let me push my bill till my next check.