CHRISTMAS DON'T BE LATE

What's up sneeches? It is I N0days0ff. If you stay broke as my lil mama keeps me you know this is the time of year you start saving for christmas presents. This year there's only 1 thing that I really want, a 160 gig ipod.




I can't even imagine having every song in the world available at the tip of my fingers.one second I'll be listening to The Jets "crush on you" then Domino "ghetto jam". I can't even think about it now....it's just a lot to take in.

Anyway I figured I would kick off the season with a christmas edition of What you know about that? It's basically a list of christmas memories and traditions. There's so much I'll probably have to do 2 or 3 posts.Feel free to add on some of your christmas traditions and anecdotes. Feliz Navidad and stuff.

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT?

Egg Nog?




GOOD LAWD!!! my step father used to be gone off that egg nog mixed with his special juice he kept in a little flask in his boot. I can't even get started on that now, thats a whole other post

Nintendo?



after years and years of keith sweat-like begging ma dukes and her cheap ass finally got me a nintendo.Even though everyone had moved on to super nintendo and the like by then, I was still happy.Funny story is she was bringing it back from a plane trip she took. They ran the box through the x ray and saw the gun and damn near arrested my mama.She had to unpack the box and show them the gun was just a toy.Even then it still had to sit up there with the pilot until the plane landed.

Funny story 2.After all that begging, no one would let me plug the nintendo up to their tv so basically it was useless.There was like an urban legend going around that nintendos messed up tv's so my mama didn't wanna mess up our tv and the nintendo stayed in a box until I had my own tv....which by then I didnt want a wack ass nintendo no more

Mistletoe



I've never ever ever kissed anyone under a mistletoe so I don't know nothing about that. One time though we were having a christmas party at our house and this dude kept trying to catch my sister under the mistletoe,I cock blocked my ass off that night. Ain't no slobbin going on tonight my friend

Christmas albums



I love alll the christmas albums that come out.chestnuts roasting on an open fire and all that shit. A few favorites of mine include

*Christmas don't be late - Alvin the Chipmunks

me I want a huuuuuuuuullllllaaa hooooooppp. Lol gets me every time

*Santa baby - Eartha kitt

Santa cutie I need a duplex and checks....I love how she sounded ready to screw santa for some extra gifts under the tree. Nothing says I love baby jesus like that.

*The first noel- All 4 One

that last lick they hit always puts tears in my eyes.....or maybe its the egg nog,who knows?


Christmas Story



what would christmas be without watching Ralphie beg for that BB gun every year? YOU"LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT!!! FRA-GEE-LEE

The Christmas tree



Can I be real for a second? I almost got kinda misty eyed when I saw this pic. I just realized how hard it must have been for my mom to pay all the bills and still scrape up enough money to buy us a christmas tree and decorate it for us. When you a kid you just think about what you don't have and never grateful for what you DO have.I don't ever pretend she was an angel or nothing like that but Dukes had a hell of a job on her hands raising 4 kids. We always ate, not brand name good stuff but we ate. Never had the lights cut off,never no eviction notice on the door, none of that.She never made much money and now that I'm older I realize how crazy it is to bust your ass all the time just to make sure your kids ate. She never had no furs or nice jewelry or none of that. All she did was go to work everyday and bring us some food home.

I remember one time in high school Ma Dukes tried to walk me to school and I kept trying to get rid of her to the point she got mad and turned around and went home. I feel so bad about that sometimes. We were both wrong, her for not doing stuff like that when I was young enough to welcome it, and me for not being happy that I had a damn mama who cared. All I could think about was how no girls would talk to me if they saw my mommy walking me to school.All I cared about was being mr cool and I ended up hurting her feelings. I'm a piece of shit for that.She got out of her bed and got dressed so she could spend a little extra time with me and my stupid ass couldn't even appreciate that.Now Dukes is in a better place.....she lives in Connecticut.

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT?

THIS IS THE BACK TO SCHOOL EDITION.

RIP to the little extra funds i scraped up cause school clothes and supplies are so expensive :(

the lunch crew.



remember you had a speicfic set of goblins you used to eat with? this one time a white kid named eric came and sat with us and we mean mugged his azz!!! he just mugged us back and kept eating.he fit in right away

School supplies.



how a kid asked me one time to borrow a pencil the first week of school.ITS THE FIRST WEEK FOOL WHERES YOUR MOMMA AT?


Your very first locker.



i was horrible at using a combination lock.i NEVER used my locker.i just preferred to put all my shit in my bag and keep it moving.im not missing the bus cause i cant remember if i have to spin it around twice to the right before i put it on the number

Taking the bus to school.




my bus driver didnt play if you wasnt at the stop when she rolled through that was your ass mr postman.one time this girl was coming down the block,the bus driver was waiting but decided the girl wasnt trying to hurry she closed the door and dipped out ahahahahahahahahah



Text books.



remember wrapping your textbooks? why one time i lost my english book and had to pay $60 for a new one? my sister was so mad to this day im still paying her back for it.$5 at a time.



Cheating on tests.



you know you did it too.unfortunately i was the one who they used to cheat off of.i used to hate when you taking a test and your friends start whispering "hey what you put for #3?"

Your desk.



i used to keep my desk so junky they called my mama to come to school and help me clean it.top 5 greatest ass whoopings of the 80's - 90's

The Library.



call me a nerd or whatever you want but my ass used to be up in the library all day every day.what you know about the berenstain bears? Encyclopedia Brown? The Hardy Boys? Ramona and Beezus? The kid in the Red Jacket? Theres a boy in the girls bathroom? Amelia Bedelia? The magic Schoolbus? Johnny Tremaine? Where the red fern grows? Bridge to Terabithia? The mouse and the motorcycle? The Littles?

Having to go to the school nurse



I only really got sick at school once. My nephew on the other hand has figured out if he says hes sick he doesnt have to stay in school and they send him home.his mama done tried to nearly kill him to make him stop doing that.well see how that worked out in a couple weeks when he goes back


TV shows coming back




That was my favorite part of going back to school.you could stop watching the same episodes of Herman's Head for the third time and finally get some new shit

Class schedule



dont even get me started on how confusing this was after years of just sitting in one room all day.there were alternate weeks where your M-W-F classes would take place on T-Th and vice versa, im suprised i graduated.the only thing i never mixed up was lunch :)

The Bully.



My bully was a girl.she used to make fun of me everyday.always asking why i never had a haircut or why my clothes was so wack or how come i aint have cable or why was i on free lunch. BITCH!!!!

i seen that whore on myspace last month.she got 3 kids and talmbout shes looking for a man to prove theyre not like all the others. and she still lives in that same raggedy ass neighborhood standing in front of a janky ass toyota AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!! whos the poor one now Lisa?


so cough up the school stories

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT?

Gizmoduck?



National Organization Of Men Against Amazonian Mastery



Pippi Longstockings



Debarge. who is joooooohhhnnnyyy?



Choose your own adventure books?



Hangin with mr cooper



Morris L Tibbs



A fresh outfit and shoes on the first day of school. i dont know anything about that :(



D.A.R.E. to keep kids off drugs



Pete & Pete

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT?

YALL BE ON SOME OTHER STUFF SO I THOUGHT ID HELP YALL GET YALL MINDS RIGHT.

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT?

Michigan J. Frog?
Toooooonight on the WB YEAH!



Meteor Man?



Camp Cucamonga






Kimmy Gibbler (Hola Tanneritos)



Tevin Campbell.before he was a tangmaster.round and round



Dont push me push a push pop



Short Circuit.Johnny 5 alive!!



GO HOME ROGER!!!



Degrassi



Parker Lewis Cant Lose. coolness