WHAT I BEEN UP TO

Wasn't gonna post but since me and my lil mama gonna be hella busy this weekend I figured I need to post something before my blog gets shut down.

Thanksgiving was great, I ate soooooo much that night, went to sleep then woke up at 3 am and ate some more then rolled my ass into the bed still burping. Now that's living.

I keep feeling bad cause I can't really grant none of the little ones christmas wishes this year but then I remember that these days having something in their belly IS a christmas wish and I don't feel too bad. How are these holidays treating your pockets? This christmas has been straight disrespecting my pockets.

I am out of default on one of my loans and making payments on the other two. It feels so good not to have a bunch of unknown numbers on my phone harassing me for money. This must be what it feels like to be white.

I tried to call my cousin over the holiday and see if she was cooking but her house, cell and business phone were all cut off. Guess I won't be going there lol. Its crazy how the only way to reach her is email....oh shit her internet might be cut off too, oh well there's always smoke signals.

One of my cousins just got out of jail from doing 12 years and is staying with his little sister. You would think that after losing half your life to the system he would be more appreciative at a second chance but all this fool does is complain. When my cousin slides him a much needed $30 out of her purse he starts talking about the nights he used to make over $1000. She is better than me cause I would have put his ass out the house... AFTER getting my $30 back. Shit gas is back to $2, thats a tank and a half .

My lil mama told me whatever I was gonna spend on buying her a christmas present I should keep it and treat myself......YEAH RIGHT!!!!! She loves saying bullshit like that, this way she gets the credit for saying that plus she gets the actual present which she was expecting all along. What should I get her? I was thinking of an ipod player for her car so she can have all her music with her instead of changing cd's. Thats the kind of gifts I like to give, something you can actually use.



To make outside calls at our job you have to dial 9-1-bullshit ass number you wanna call. Me and the dude who sits next to me were discussing whether we would have to dial 9-1-1 or 9-1-9-1-1 in case the fired dude came back to kill us. Tell me why to prove his point this fool picks up the phone and accidentally called the motherfuckin police.



He gets scared and hangs up. Not 5 seconds later security calls and asks us if we are ok because the police were called from our desk. My friend says we're fine and thats it..no patrol, no swing by, nothing. What if dude had us in a corner fuckin our asses up? Boy I tell you.

You know you are broke when you start eyeing the charity toy box at work and start wondering if you could sneak that power ranger on the top out for your kids without getting caught.

So....what are you doing to get ready for the holidays?

RANDOM

This post is gonna be mad random because I'm just swamped these days as far as work and personal life.Maintaining a blog is harder than it seems.

*My oldest sister I love her with all my heart but the girl is a certified dodo brain.One time I had a really really old piece of shit car. I was getting a new car and I asked her to sell the old one for a measly $200. I could have got more but just wanted the car out of my life.Tell me why a couple weeks later I show up to get my snaps and she told me she only sold the car for $100




THIS GIRL CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! I asked her why,

Big sis: well the girl didn't wanna pay the full price cause the windshield has a crack in it,and the passenger window doesn't roll down

me: (cutting her off) WHAT THE FUCK SHE WAS EXPECTING FOR $200 A ROLLS ROYCE?

BS: I felt bad so I gave it to her for $100

me: sigh.... so wheres the $100

BS: well what had happened was.....

Sigh.What else? oh yeah,for the most part I've stopped posting about my lil mama for now.There is a lot of stuff going on and it's not fair for either of us for me to constantly tell y'all bad things about her. She's a really great person and always hearing about how many obstacles are in my way because of her is starting to make some of my real friends not like her and that is kind of unfair cause she's really terrific and should get a fair shot. One of my friends told me I should end it because it doesn't seem like she's bringing anything to the table. They were kinda right but I can't dump her cause someone else said so, but the more I say what we're going through the more I make myself look like a chump. I don't wanna be one of those people who look stupid cause they always complain about something but never change it.I wish I could come on here and tell y'all about all kinds of great dates we go on and we're planning trips to vegas and LA and fancy candlelight dinners and all that TI whatever you like kind of shit but I'd be lying.Long story short, I'm not living the kind of life I'd be living if I wasn't with her. I don't care , I know she's one in a million and I'm just gonna ride this shit out and see where we end up . But it's been my recent experience that not everybody sees that as a noble thing. Some of my peeps think I'm downright stupid.I kinda started this blog because there are so many things I can't say in my real life but alas even here I have to look at what kind of image I put out. I guess in all aspects she has to remain my little secret. As usual any input you have on this is encouraged.


*Saturday night was drinking night. our super came by the spot already drunk and invited us to come over and drink. I didnt have any and thank god i didn't. He got on the turntables and played I always feel like somebody's watching me over and over again. I wasn't even drunk and I moonwalked my ass off so imagine if I was.Then my super proceeds to tell us how last week he smashed out this old lady who lives around us



he even started reenacting it by doing the girl pushups, needless to say we broke the hell out. We watched a bootleg of righteous kill (movie was ehhhhh...). Super comes over and in his drunken foolishness pulls out a $50 and gives it to my neighbors to buy some more beers and stuff to bring back to him. Mannnnnn they grubbed their asses off with that money. I paid for my own food cause im not grimey like that, but they are. They bought mad smirnoffs from the store and we finished watching the movie buzzed out of this world. Not so much me, I only had one cause they kept begging me. The next morning I passed by their door on the way to the store and the super was banging on the door like fred flintstone and shit

Super: Hey yall what the fuck happened to yall last night? and wheres my change? I gave y'all $50. I know y'all in there!!!!!

I just kept walking and laughed to myself, man these are some crazy people.So....what's new with you?

LIVING UNDER YOUR SPOTLIGHT

I dont have time to be up here spotlighting blogs all day cause 1. I don't got that kind of time 2. Y'all don't pay me enough. But I fell in love with misschriss's blog. It is scary how much her and her man's situations remind me of lil mama and I. She had a story about her asking her man for some of his cookies and changing her mind cause he only had a few left.She couldn't understand why he got so mad and put the cookies away, meanwhile i was ready to jump through my monitor and strangle her cause that's EXACTLY what my lil mama would do. I can't even enjoy the rest of my mufuckin fig newtons cause i know you really want some and now I feel all selfish cause I know your mouth watering. A MAN DONE WORKED ALL DAY LONG AND CAN'T EVEN HAVE A MUFUCKIN SNACK IN PEACE!?!? sorry y'all but that shit hit real close to home. She had another post where her boyfriend had moved out and she thought she heard his music coming out of a passing car so she walked all around the neighborhood trying to catch a glimpse of him.she even said she wished she had a car so she could go find him,I almost lost it.




What else? Oh yeah, my sister can talk her ass off. That girl could talk an apple off a tree if you let her. She called me and left a message asking if I knew how to retrieve an erased voicemail. After I got off work I texted her no, tell me why 2 min later my phone was ringing. IDONTWANNATALKTOYOURASSRIGHTNOWTHATSWHYITEXTEDYOU!!! She proceeds to ask me again,I said no, She tells me she called verizon and they said she cant do that (so why the fuck would you ask me like I know something the people who made the phone don't know). She then tells me all the different things she tried womp womp womp womp womp



What else? Oh yeah, I saw this young cat with slits in his eyebrows



and i had to smile. Let me tell you why. I fell in love with my lil mama soon as I saw her.Girl was so fine I could have sopped her up with a biscuit. One day we were talking and I was spittin my lil wack game to her and somehow someway she had said this dude in a magazine looked good how he had his hair and eyebrows cut. Tell me why my stupid young ass went and got some slits in my eyebrows. WHOOOWEEEEE its a shame what we do to get these women. They actually came out alright....at first. My dumb self got them touched up everytime I got my hair cut (every week), I didnt know I was supposed to give my eyebrows an extra week or so to breathe and grow back. I went to the barbershop one day and my usual barber wasn't there, I asked the replacement barber to to give my eyebrows a slight touchup.The slits I had were starting to fade and I wanted to continue my (imagined) sexually attractive hold on my lil mama. He said he didn't do eyebrows, my dumb ass told him it wasn't hard.He said he'd do it for me



THAT FOOL SHAVED ONE OF MY EYEBROWS OFF!!!He messed up and had to shave it off or I would have looked EXTRA stupid. I was LIVID. I had to go talk to the managers at my job that same day about something and the whole time I saw them sneaking peeks at my eyebrows. I felt so stupid I ended the meeting early. I go to see lil mama and I told her I need to find a new dude to do my eyebrows. She said I shouldn't do that cause it was a stupid look.

Lil mama: BOY STOP!! just leave your eyebrows alone, thats shits stupid anyway

me: huh? I thought you said that dude was sexy with it?

LM: he was!! I also seen this mexican man on tv the other day with tattoos from his whole neck down and he looked so rough and sexy but that don't mean I'd go out on a date with him.

me: oh...

LM: wait.....did you get your eyebrows done thinking I was gonna fuck you cause of that? AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

LIPTON'S

*First off, all the women in my last post who said they don't know what teabagging is are some liars. LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!!!! Sigh...but I'll humor you. Teabagging is when you stand over the woman and ...



get it,got it? good.I can't believe how much time I spend watching the news now.When did I grow up? Between whats going on with Ciroc Obama, keeping an eye on the economy and now this stock market crash, I am becoming downright knowledgeable



*I seen this on the internet the other day




WTF? I didn't even know you could do this. When I'm gone to see sweet minty in the upper room (wink to raider wifee) I want my box to have a picture of Sisqo (platinum hair Sisqo not the tamer blond hair one) unleashing the dragon on the world.

*Speaking of Raider Wifee, she has a picture of a belt as her banner on her blog. That reminds me of my mom's favorite whoopin belt. It was red leather and on one end of the buckle was a fish. The other end was a bigger fish with its mouth wide open like it was about to swallow the other one




I bet her big ass probably had that custom made too. "LONG AS YOU GOT RIGHT ON YOUR SIDE YOU CAN WHOOP ANYBODY'S ASS WITH JUST THIS BELT POOTIE TANG!!!"

*Random fact: I STAN for Neyo.

I'm so sick of love songs. So tired of tears
So sick of wishing you was still here
said im so sick of love songs all sad and slow
so why can't I turn off the radio?


Dude can't do no wrong by me. I been listening to that "Miss Independent" like 49x a day.He got this song on his new cd called "part of the list" WHOOO!!!! I cant even talk about it

*What else is going on? Oh yeah, Me and my lil mama had a funny conversation the other day.

Lil mama's message on my answering machine: Hey baby, I been searching and searching but I finally found the right school and.. (kids fussing in the background).. I'll calll you back

me (calling her back right away): I'm so proud of you!!! I knew this day would come that you would get yourself together....

lil mama: huh?

me: didn't you say you found a school?

lil mama: yeah my daughter has a soccer game and we bout to be late cause I couldn't find the school.

awkward silence



Say what you want but there's never a dull moment with her.

*Thanks for all the people who leave comments on here. I read every single one. I know I'm bad about commenting back but I will try to make it to every one of your blogs


* Y'all know for a fact I looooooves me my brothers and sisters. We were kings and all that shit.Tell me why the blk people in the mail room (basically the only ones there) been stealing the free dairy creamer and free cups out of the pantry at work.I understand they dont make as much as the other people who work there but FUCK!!! I guess they figure the company has a limitless budget on stuff like that (which is true) but damn people show some class. I can't even front one time in middle school I stole a roll of toilet paper cause we ain't had none at home. DON'T LAUGH AT ME WE WAS POOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

RANDOM

Well it's almost official, my days of consistent blogging are pretty much over. Sigh.... I am so busy with work these days even off the clock. Add to that me and my lil mama are trying to get our lives together for this marriage/living together thing we are about to do. We plan to move to another state and that takes soooo much planning.

This dude at my job called in at 3pm the other day. He was supposed to be there at 8 am.OMG how we laughed.

This Lehman Bros shit going on in the news is bigger than a lot of people think. Basically if they go out of business this country is screwed

My 40 year old sister read in my nieces diary that some dude tea bagged her. She asked me what that meant. I was like "uhhhhh...."

SYLARS ALMOST BACK ON THAT ASS SNITCHES!!

youve been warned

WHAT WEBSITES CANT YOU LIVE WITHOUT?

What are your favorite websites? give me some really interesting ones,heres some of mine but you probably know them already


imdb.com

Anything movie or tv related this is where you need to go.theyll tell you every movie an actors been in and they have a forum for every actor/movie/tv show so you can talk to other people about it


mtv.com

they have official news stories and tv shows in case you missed it on tv.


blogger.com

obviously. i like to read the personal blogs


Google news

cause i need to know whats going on in the world

Smartenupnas

for the hip hop news and latest videos

Crunk & Disorderly

cause fresh is a damn fool

Heres where i can watch full cosby show episodes on youtube

Dictionary.com

Dictionary,Thesaurus and Encyclopedia all in one so you can get that Kanowledge

google books

Did you know you could preview books online? a little something to do while youre at work



Wikipedia.org

man i could get lost on wikipedia for hours.everything you can possibly think of is on there.i like to go every once in a while and see what songs Ne-yos written and for who then go listen on youtube.


So theres some of my boring ass links.whats yours?

WHAT I LIKE

My life is not just 40's and drivebys....thats only one of my layers.heres some other things im into.get into this

Norman Rockwell's art.
Thats my dude.dudes so good with a pencil you dont realize its a drawing not a photograph








The Theme from Sesame Street.to this day thats my favorite song.I cant imagine being in a bad mood and hearing this song and not feeling at least the teensiest bit better.plus i grew up in NY so I could really relate to the surrondings and stuff




Reading funny T-shirts




I have this thing,if i start reading a shirt and dont get to see all it says IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

FRESH BREATH



Im almost obsessive about making sure my breath smells good.you ever seen somebody attractive and they get close to you and smell like ass? ok then

NAPS



I can fall asleep anytime anywhere,and usually do.i can never get enough sleep.so anytime i think i have an extra 20 minutes or so....off i go

SLIM JIMS



I dont know why i love these things so much but i do.I could be talking to you and randomly snap into a slim jim out of nowhere.be prepared

PRISON BREAK



damn Scofields a smart motherfucker



Holding my breath



Something weird ive done since i was a kid is, ill look at a clock and hold my breath until the minute changes.its cool if theres 5 seconds left but sometimes theres 55 seconds left and your lungs feel like theyre about to burst.i dont know why i do that.

GET OUT MY BIZNASS!!!!!!!!

since yall loooooooooovvvvvvveeeeeee me so much.i figure id tell yall a few little known things about me

*I dont have a dad or any brothers so some things i had to learn on my own.When i started fucking i never knew there were different size condoms.so i went to the store and got some lifestyles and when the time came i kept trying to roll it on and it didnt fit.omg it seems so funny now.i didnt want the girl to know i was a virgin so i turned around and stretched the condom out (dumb move) to fit it on.Later on i figured out what magnums were.

* I graduated high school early.Sure it was cool to the high school students when i was graduating but it made college life difficult.One time a few of us went out to grab some food and they decided to go to the club while we were out.We get to the door and the bouncer says i cant go in cause im only 17.i told everyone to go in without me but one of my homies snuck me in the side door :) college was cool

*Christopher Columbus is one of my heroes.I hate the whole slavery thing but can you imagine the WHOLE WORLD tells you that if you sail past a certain point you will fall off the edge of the world but you still take that chance anyway?

*I used to be a marques Houston STAN.dude was my idol when i was a kid.his albums were the best,his tv shows were my favorite and his movies were the bomb.i used to want that little shag/bush haircut he had in immature. now hes kind of a weirdo to me.funny how things change.

*I am such a loner.lol.i know people think im weird but i just like sticking to myself.my friends invite me to stuff everyday but i always make excuses.I am really dreading my wedding day cause my lil mama is so popular and has such a big family and my side is gonna have just my sisters and mom (who might not even come ) lol.People like me but after a while i just need to be by myself to get my thoughts together

RANDOM

my old ass landlord just told me he came from his high school reunion.who else was there Jesus? sweet lord there couldnt have been more than 5 people out there talmbout "WATCH OUT THERE NOW".

why must there always be so much drama in the LBC?

This dude at my job is always trying to get me to go to church with him.i feel like such a heathen sometimes.like he sees me and says "that boy right there needs some saving!!"

what would my life be like if i was still dating? loooooolllll.i dont even wanna think about it.id be slingin dick everywhere.probably woulda fucked around and had me a baby or two.

Random as hell

how a dude try to sell me and my lil mama a fur coat today? its like 99 thousand degrees outside.she started to look at it too but i told her lets go.

my boy is scheduled to have an abortion on wednesday with his girl but they are still undecided.isnt it about time you knew if you were keeping it or not?what are you waiting for the doctor to start operating?

have you ever had somebody on the street try to sell you something that was almost the same price as the store? dude had some perfume he stole and lil mama asked if he had some Ed Hardy for women.he said "yeah $65" motherfucka i might as well go to macy's and buy the real thing.

RANDOM SHYT

One time i go to pay a bill and when i get back in the whip my car wont shift from park to reverse no matter how hard i tried so finally i FORCE it and i hear like a pop and it goes to reverse but wont back out.WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO?? after that anytime i wanted to back out with my car i had to put into neutral then put one leg out and PULL that bitch backwards out my parking spot. E 40 nem talmbout ghostride the whip.have you ever had to FRED FLINTSTONE the whip mr 40?

yabba dabba doo

RANDOM SHYT

my sister used to work at the sizzler,tell me why she was stealing silverware and shit for us? looooooollll. we had just moved into a new house and needed EVERYTHING!! the cups actually said sizzler on them.people used to come over,take a drink and do a double take talmbout yall aint right.

i grew up so broke i didnt even know what cable was.my boys would be talmbout shows i never even heard of.what the fuck is nickelodeon?back when the cable box had that little dial you had to slide for every channel.no remote, you had to get up there and slide the dial to mtv to see the beastie boys.thats all ima give yall ima give the cable its own post.

i still resent my aunt for cuttin off my rat tail.back in the early 90's you was the junk if you had a rat tail in the back of your head.the longer the better.she hated it!!!!i aint give a fuck!! i was stylin with my rat tail halfway down my back like my name was Kang Lee.one day she told me to turn around so she could comb my hair and she cut it OFF!!

wanna know the scariest movie i ever seen? GHOST with patrick swayze.i know i know but shit i was young.the part that freaked me out was how they wouldnt even know they was dead until they turned around and saw their body on the ground.my sister came home mad as hell "WHY YOU GOT ALL THE LIGHTS ON??? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE LIGHTS GONNA BE?