N.E. Heartbreak

Never mind, I'll find someone like you - Adele

I broke things up with Karen, I hated to do it but it had to be done. I really liked her too but I promised myself that if a relationship is bringing me sadness instead of happiness I would end it. The whole point of getting a girlfriend was to have someone to date and have sex with. I can be lonely and horny on my own, I don't need any help.


For a solid month me and this girl been vibing and dating. Hours long phone calls everyday and sweet nothings via text. Expensive dinners and trips to brooklyn to see her. Everytime I try to get her over to the crib....nothing! I told her that its ok if we don't have sex just as long as she comes over and watches a movie with me or something.I'm not gonna force her to do anything she doesn't want. Do I look like a rapist or something? Maybe its the mustache. What's the point of staying on the phone all night every night when she could just pop over and chill? I don't want someone trying to hold on to their panties with dear life, not right now anyway. After my last relationship that is the absolute last thing I need. I want someone young and free and looking for fun.

We talked last night and she said that something that concerned her about me was I party a lot. I don't really but this last month I have been hitting the clubs on the weekend pretty regularly. I don't apologize for that ,if she gave me a reason I'd stay home with her every night. One of the reasons I hit the club is I honestly don't have anything better to do. At this point in my life I feel I've earned the right to be a little selfish. I want somebody to make me feel special,I don't want it to always be the other way around.

So many women in the world
I gotta find myself a girl - Tevin Campbell


I guess I'm back to square one then. I could have kept her on the side and worked on her for a bit longer but I didn't want the frustration of not seeing it go as fast as I liked. I don't necessarily need a chick who fucks on the first night but gotdammit 2012 might be our last year and I'm not gonna spend 8 mon of it waiting for a girl to make up her mind.

Is it wrong to fuck someone else while you wait for your main interest to get sexually active? Was I supposed to wait and not fuck anybody else? Da fuck I get outta that? Karen always made allusions to me having other girls, I think her thinking that made her be more cautious with me. I told her I didn't have nobody else but I guess she thought I was too fine and smooth to not have any other options, oh well. What the fuck did she expect anyway? I'm really gonna miss her cause she had a banging body and was really cool but I gotta keep on keepin on. My life is about making ME happy first now,can't put nobody else ahead of that.