My cousin called me the other day to borrow some money because her house is in foreclosure :(
this recession is really no joke.its like everyone i know is doing poorly.I said id help her with what i can but the thing about her is even if i loan her the money all im doing is buying her a month until shes in the same position again.she has her own business and ive come to find out thats not as lucrative as it sounds.if you have a regular job,even if its slow you get your check every 2 weeks.if you have your own business and its slow,you dont get shit.Her business has been going down the crapper for like 2 years now but shes too proud to go back to working for people.she likes arriving and leaving whenever she wants,and being able to go pick her son up who fakes sick at least once a week. I used to stay with her a while back while i finished up school but i had to get up out of there because i was becoming the father figure in the house to her and her 3 kids and couldnt focus on me.i feel so bad cause i want to pay the bills for her cause without her helping me i wouldnt have been able to be where im at but i got my lil mama and her kids depending on me too and i have to make the choice.obviously i have to take care of my woman before my family but its not easy.i made the right choice right?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME
Posted by
n0days0ff
at
8:45 AM
Labels: Drama
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13 comments:
YA HOUSE COMES 1ST, NO QUESTIONS ASKED....
let me come back and vent nodays my older sister whom i simply cannot stand gon call me sunday and tell me that her son my nephew was upset, i was like why she was like cause you ain't get him nothing for his b-day which was that previous thursday, i was like man please i got bills i ain't have no money to get him shit, then she gon go on to say you never get him nothing i was like he ain't my kid, and besides he got everything ipods, digitial cameras and shit cell phones that save the world and shit and he only 15 so what was i gonna get him she said you could have gotten him money?????? BYTCH if i ain't have the guap to buy him something what makes you think i got money to give him? see she thinks that ppl supposed to forgo'they house and bills and shit for her and her kids sake cuase it's his b-day i was like look, you got one, count em one kid, i got 2 and hubby just started back working so every dime that is in my house is needed, she then gon say well why you ain't go get the kids from momma cause my momma got em till school start, i was like cause hell we ain't have the gas to put in the car to drive 150 miles to go get em, they chillin till shcool start so stfu so convo goes to her saying well he got this from so in so for his b-day and blah blahblah womp womp womp so i was like look why you calling me with this bullshit KNOWING i don't give a fuck, i don't care bout what he got for his b-day and i damn shole don't care yall pissed cause i ain't get him shit like i said my shit come 1st, and i refuse to be faced with guilt trips, i refuse to be made out as the bad guy difference tween my sister and your cuz, my sister ain't NEVER helped me throo shit, to do shit, with shit, gave me shit, none of that, but quick as fuck to try and manipulate a nigga to do for her and her kid, she can run that shit on the rest of em but i won't fall for it, and won't give a good gotdamn if she never call me again, so like i said YO' SHIT COME 1ST NODAYS...lol
well damn chrissy dont hold it all in.lol.i feel so bad that i cant help her but im not superman.i cant save all these hoes.lol.your sister sounds so grimy.i hate when parents try to speak for their kids.she talmbout he was so upset but i bet he aint even care.your sister sounds so shady but i know you dont take no mess
i agree that u gotta do what u gotta do for your woman first especially if you've been with her for a long time and/or feel she's the one.
that's what i am saying nodays my nephew prolly ain't even care, i sent him a text, and we texted back and forth all damn day long on his b-day and he ain't said shit to me bout a gift i swear i don't eff with her like that either my hubby was like watch she gon call you with some mess again, i am like prolly but not anytime soon cause she knoe she gon get a click in her ole sheisty ass ear, i am just baffled as to how we were raised by the same woman, but we 2 totally different ppl...
and you cannot feel bad nodays, you got ya own stuff to do, and if you tell ya cuz that, i am sure she will get it, everybody on hard times right now, not just her, or me, or you, but all of us, cept my ole trifling sister....
You definitely have to do for home first, but if you felt like you wanted to do something I'd give her whatever wouldn't break me, I'd tell her "I can't help with the mortgage but here is a few bucks to go towards your phone or your groceries or to put towards your mortgage." Help is Help. She can either appreciate it or she won't. When you needed help she gave what she could. She may have given more, she may have given less. But she gave what she felt she could.
My dad also calls this kind of giving "Buying your freedom" with people who find themselves in constant financial crisis. You give the first time then the next time you can say. I wish I could but you didn't pay me back the last time and I was counting on getting that money back to pay my own bills. I just don't have it like that to loan and not get back. This is good with my Aunt the "Stay at home mother" who is always getting evicted. I can see a stay at home mom who has it to stay home but... until then get a gig.
nodays im glad you realize ya woman comes first, cuz she is ya new family. thats just how things work, u are born into ya family, then u grow up and make a family of your own. and even if she did help u alot in the past she had it to give. if u dont have the money to live comfortably and help her too what r u supposed to do sacrifice ur immediate family for someone else? no no no it doesnt work that way. Dont get me started over here cuz u kno i got a story for everything
Damn dude that's tough. I must say, I do commend you on doing what you gotta do and making the hard call to do what you gotta do. I'd just be straight up with my cuz, and be like, just like you struggling, I'm struggling.
You're about to be a husband and a step father, so you have a FULL household to take care of. Let her know how much you love and appreciate her, and that this decision was really hard for you, but you can't swing it right now. Tell if there is anything other than cash that she needs, you'd be more than willing to help.
Without a doubt, you gottta take care of your family first. I have been there helping family and I have done it to the point of hurting my own family and its not a place I recommend going. Rarely does crap just happen and generally the folks asking for help, just didn't plan well. I know that sounds hard but like I said I have been there myself.
kei kei- yeah its tough choosing though
chrissy snow- yeah but its sad though cause shes so sweet
meg-whats up my new buddy? yeah im gonna go down and see what i can do but its never enough for her.she doesnt need a loan she needs a man (which she has but hes useless)
chay- i dont even get you winded up cause i already know it dont take much.lol
GLO- cant i just give you her number instead and you tell her?
blackgirl - it is sooo poor planning but you still wanna help family
Yep... shoot it on over to me. I'll handle your light weight!
You have the biggest heart i've ever seen, No Days. Where are your cousins parents, and her brothers and sisters if she has any?
your a good man nodays and u only can do so much... you have ur new family and ur present family but you and ur future kids come 1st...you can get groceries try with other bills etc.. u may have to tell your relative to go back to work only temporarily.. this is her life and her kids quality of life and wellbeing piece of mind etc... she needs to swallow that pride
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