WARNING:this story is a tad gross
One time I came home and decided to throw a couple sausages on my grill (super no homo) . I was doing it big,i didnt get the bootleg seven eleven ones chrissy snow be buying. no suh i had just got paid (but it wasnt friday night) and went all out,yep i got some hillshire farms
YA DIG!!!!!!! i had me a tall, tall can of juicy juice waiting for my thirsty ass. so while im grillin im on the phone with my lil mama and i guess i am not paying as much attention to my food as i could be. when i stop them they look a little under done but i say fuck it, whats the worst that could happen right?
FOOD POISONING MOTHERFUCKER,thats what could happen. so im watching a movie a little later on and i notice i feel FULL like i just had thanksgiving dinner and went back for seconds .im in my bed sweating like a slave all night.i feel like im having a baby or something cause my stomach feels so full.no matter how much i threw up or used the restroom i still feel full.you know those little african kids with the big bellies? yep thats what i felt like.
so the next morning i feel like fried shit but i get up for work anyway.I couldnt call out because i had JUST started this new job and i was still on a probationary period plus my name is n0days0ff so i wasnt gonna let a little tummy ache stop me from getting that cheese.i get to work and throw up in a wastebasket (nice little suprise for the janitor lady).i end up staying in the nurses office all day sleeping.I leave early and i mention to this dude at work how ive been throwing up but still feel so full.he thinks i want to STOP throwing up and using the restroom when in actuality i wished id throw up more so all the food could pass through my system.He tells me to get some Imodium AD and im like true!!!!! this will give me diarrhea so i can pass everything through.WRONG!! man i was stopped up like 5 o clock traffic. im lactose intolerant so as a last resort i go buy a nestle strawberry quik (yum) to make me go.still didnt work.actually it was like 3 days before i had a bowel movement.ever since the only thing i make is a sandwich,ive been scared to even boil an egg since then.
you ever had food poisoning?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
WHY I DONT COOK ANYMORE
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n0days0ff
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10:13 PM
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7 comments:
lmmfao i ought to find ya ass nodays and donkey kong you and i know never to eat @ yo' house, EVER,
I always overcook my meat cuz i'm terrified of gettin food poisonin haha.
LMMFAO, and YES i got food poisonin' while i was preggo and i was sick as a dog, i hade to go to the hospital n all...overnight stay..they had to shoot potassium thru my IV n that shat burned like hell...i have never stepped foot in GOlden Corral since
matter of fact it was 2 nights!
lmaooooooooooo!!!!
stopped up like 5 hour traffic.
OMG, your experience sounds HORRIBLE. Off of Hillshire Farms links??? I buy that ish ALL the time. Yeah, you gotta cool that mess ALLLL the way thru.
I don't recall ever having food poisoning but I heard it's hella violent and a nigga like me don't like throwin' up so i'd have to jus' wait it out in tears.
you said sweated like a slave all night.
LOL!!!!!!!!
chrissy - i bet i still cook better than you though.burning stuff all in the microwave
soulstress- yeah i did that the first couple times afterwards then said fuck it and retired my apron
kali- DONT EVER BADMOUTH GOLDEN CORRAL!!!!!!!! did you sue? is that how you got that buick lesabre sittin on them 28's?
sane - since you know how to cook the links right im eating over your house from now on.be lucky you never got food poisoning cause not only does it hurt but you get scared to eat after
I'ma set you up a plate. LOL!!!
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