One time (last fathers day) I decided to get me a haircut while i was out doing a little shopping.while im getting the words "DOPEBOY FRESH" cut in the back of my head one of the barbers breaks out a bottle of vodka and starts serving everybody up.He offers me but im like naw. He says come on its fathers day but i say no.he offered me like 2 more times and i declined.he hands me a cup anyway and fills that bitch to the top.so i say fuck it and sip.its like somebody poured a cup of fucking lava down my throat but i cant choke or ill look like a lame.my haircut is almost over so i chug the rest cause you know you cant walk in public with alcohol. The barber charges me $18 instead of the $12 i usually pay (did these motherfuckers just charge me for the drink?) and i go on my merry way with my new haircut.
about 20 minutes later i am walking down the street and turn to look for a store AND THE WHOLE STREET STARTS SPINNING AROUND AND ROUND. AM I DRUNK? OH HELL NO I CANT BE DRUNK ITS SUNDAY AFTERNOON.
**break** one thing you have to understand is i am a HORRRRRIIIBBBLLLEEE drunk.thats why i dont drink.i have no control over my emotions
so at this point i start realizing i am drunk and i am mad about it.i (i have to LOL before i say this) i start shadow boxing on the street because in my mind i am training to come fight the barber on christmas day for making me drunk.i start drunk texting my friends at 2pm sunday afternoon telling them the fight of the century will take place on christmas day at the barber shop.
**break** i hadnt eaten that day yet cause i got up super late so i hadnt had anything in my belly since like 24 hours before.just mad vodka all lonely in there
so now im walking down the street not knowing what to do because i am farrrrrrr away from home so i dont trust myself to get home alright.so i decide to try a few remedies to sober up quick.i heard if you put bread in your stomach it soaks up the alcohol so i shadow box down to the jamaican store and order 4 yes 4 beef patties and a soda.i gobble them at the counter and inhale the soda.my head is spinning round and round at this point because im a lightweight drinker and i didnt expect it plus im tired from all that shadow boxing.after that i go into a store and buy a vibe magazine i already have.i feel the effects going away a little bit so i buy a fruit salad with watermelon in it.after a while i start sobering up and i look at my phone and see all these text messages asking me what the fuck am i talking about and who is fighting who.damn i hate drinking
whats your drunk story?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON.........
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10:48 PM
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17 comments:
LOL! oh no!
shadow boxing - hilarious
My story? I'm a light weight as well but for my 21st my friends took me out at midnight to this lounge. We bumped into a few friends that were there & someone bought me two drinks. Then the two friends I went with bought me two drinks. Then these two random guys tryna mack found out it was my bday and bought shots for my friends & I...I don't do shots and they were double shots at that. Anyway, I figured, hey its my bday.
Got back to campus and sang at the top of my lungs all through the quad and on the way home.
But i've never been drunk in the middle of the day! LOL
ahahahahahahaha! great story
yall can't fuck with me on the liquor tip, so i have no stories to tell, i can handle whatever lmmfao
allien-thanks for rolling through
kieya-they should have called campus security on you
chrissy- thats cause you so used to drinking that prohibition moonshine with 3 X's on the jug that buford used to get you
I was 21 years old and looking too cute this one particular night. Me and crew of goblins decided to crash this party in downtown San Francisco at Jullians. We were higher than kites and wanted to get sloppy drunk too.
We in the club, dancing, drinking and having a grand time. Then all of sudden (after my 3rd Cadillac margarita) I started to feel sick. I steal a seat from this girl who is mad but she ain't saying shit. Then one of my cousins say, "Cayla, you should get up and dance." I respond by saying I don't feel good, at all. She says dancing will make me feel better.
I get back up, we in the middle of the dance floor, dancing and then all of a sudden, I stopped. And I start to vomit all over the place. I mean the place was packed too. I threw on some girls shoes, she TRIED to say something but my cousin quickly got in her faced and dared to even show disgust. (THANK YOU CUZ!)
I get the bathroom where security follows me to kick me out. Something about them trying to keep the floor clean and I can't be throwing up. So they threw me out. (It's cooh, I been kicked out of plenty of clubs in San Francisco, I always go back. I'm the life of the party!)
I spent the rest of the night throwing up, while my cousin fought with her husband, my other cousin tried to feed me bread to stop me from vomiting and I made a mess everywhere I went. I woke up the next morning in my LITTLE cousin's very miniature bed, in my underwear with a huge knot on my forehead.
WHAT A NIGHT!
"i start shadow boxing on the street because in my mind i am training to come fight the barber on christmas day for making me drunk"
OH HELL FUKKIN NO...LMMFAO I bet folk thought u were crazy!
u already know my drunk story!
Shadowboxin lol! Hilarious story!
LOL!!! @ you shadow boxing and decided that Christmas would be the day the fight would take place.
You reminded me of Trey from Boyz N The Hood, shadow boxing in front of Brandy.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO
My drunk story took place at a party I didn't wanna be at. I sat in the kitchen acting anti-social, observing everyone, while i'm downing MGD after MGD...i'm also a light drinker but I wanted to "fade away" that night until I was rescued from my surroundings.
Perhaps about 3 beers into it, my eyes became glassy and everything was moving in slow motion, even ME.
I tend to get honest and start remembering things once i've been drinking so I scanned the room and I saw this guy I had seen before in from a picture I had taken a long time about of a group of guys. I didn't know him but he was in the picture, and I didn't know his name but I never forget a face.
Anyway, so I stopped him, and I started talking. I THOUGHT I was making sense but my words were coming out all wrong. I wasn't hitting on him, I was trying to let him know that I had a picture of him. He was like, "do I know you?". It took me like 30 minutes of repeating myself in order for him to understand his picture was taken in innocence in a group shot with some other guys we mutually knew but I guess it was comin' out like
"hey um, yeah....like, I know you, you don't know me but I know you. I have a picture of you, you don't know me though. I don't know your name but, yeah, I know you. Don't think i'm trippin', like, i know what i'm sayin' right? You don't understand, I KNOW you. I have a picture of you, I took it the last time I seen you a few years ago. You was in it with some other guys."
While i'm stumbling over my words, and swaying in slow motion, homie was tryin' to holla at me, ask me for my name and number and what not. SMH.
SWEETBERRIES- POOR GIRL.NO not you the girl who got her shoes puked on and almost got beat up on top of it lol
kali-everyday is your drunk story or your high story.i tried to make you go to rehab one time but you said no no no
hey soulstress!!
sane-omg i bet he thought you were on X."i have a picture of you but you dont know me " lol
OH DEAR GOD! This is too funny! Shadowboxing and drunk text in the middle of the day!
MY story: On my sisters 21stb-day I had the bright idea to have a drinking contest with my 6'3'' 227lb boyfriend. And the drink of choice was Hennessy. *Sidenote I a, 5'3'' and at that time was about 99lbs* Anyway we drank all night and the next morning I woke up on top of my mothers coffee table, he was under the table. My mom was furious. And this is why I don't mess with dark liquors.
LOL!!! @ thef'itlist....
And I bet he did @ BJ.
I bet you looked a hot mess
LOOOL LMAO.
Oh my gosh.. you are crazy!
you that was toooo funny. I'm picturing a man shadowboxin and all, ctfu.
Sadly I must say I have never been drunk. I only drink the light stuff and never enough of it to get drunk.
LMAOF again at this story. Shadow boxing? LOL. Ur on the blogroll.
F*** telling my story, you got me at my desk crying from laughing so hard!
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