I believe the children are the future
teach them well and lead the way
show them all the beauty they posess inside
give them a sense of pride
Greatest love of all- Whitney Houston
*WARNING* The following story is kind of gross
I don't think my mama ever heard that song. She put fear in us every chance she got. Tell me why one time she told us this story about this zookeeper who went to the restroom on his break one day. He didn't look inside the toilet before he sat down. One of the snakes had got loose and was coiled up inside the bowl and when the man sat down the snake struck and bit him in the taint (area between the balls and hole). 
TO THIS MOTHERFUCKING DAY I cant sit on a toilet without checking that mug THOROUGHLY. Why would she do that? Ima call her tomorrow and find out.I know she gets sick of me calling her everyday and asking her about something she did in 1987.I think I'm scarred for life over that. So to my readers with kids PLEASE watch what you say to them cause they will remember FOREVER.
They stayed traumatizing my little scary ass. Where I grew up there was and is a humongous rat problem. These people came to our school and did a presentation to give us knowledge on what not to do so we could stop the problem. They brought out this BIG lifelike model and all I could do was stare at the beady eyes and sharp fangs. Then they told us that a rat can smell food a block away so close our trash can lids, gulp. They said any hole big enough for a rat to fit its head in it can squeeze its whole body through, teeth chatter. Then they said a rat can hold its breath and swim through the toilet lines from one apartment and pop up through the toilet bowl in another. Add that to my mama telling me about the snake in the toilet and I have never been totally comfortable sitting on the toilet. So anything your parents ever did or said that messed you up for life?
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Friday, November 7, 2008
TIDY BOWL
Posted by
n0days0ff
at
12:19 AM
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6 comments:
Okay.
In order to prevent us from swallowing our gum, my mom and her siblings told us the story of the larger than life tape worm.
Since much of medical care back in the day was given in the kitchen or the bathroom, in order to get this tape worm that was wrapped up in my mom's system they waited for it to peak it's head out of her booty hole, grabbed hold of it's huge ass (whoever was doing that had to wrap it around their fist by the way), attached to this worm was big wads of bubble gum.
Yuk. I don't tell my children this story and can't even chew gum myself.
Oh my damn. lol!!!
Well I was jus' watchin' WILLARD last week so I know a rat can come up thru a toilet bowl with madd ease.
You are so funny!
My folks didn't do this to me but my brother and sister led me to believe until I was around 8 that I was adopted and that I was dropped off on the doorstep. They swore up and down that singer Denise Williams was my mom and don't think I didn't believe that sh**. That was around the time that "Let's Here It For the Boy" and Gonna Take A Miracle" was out and I was kinda chubby back then and the same complexion that she was so they swore up and down there was some kinda resemblance. I kept quiet about my belief but one day I told my mom that I was adopted and she told me it was all lies. I felt better after that, especially once I started favoring one of my dad's sisters. But yeah, my brother and sister were bastards for that one.
lmao!!! One day you're going to call home and mom's is going to tell you to lose her number. lol
Seriously though, i'd be checking the bowl too
damm homie.... you had me hysterical when you said you call your mom from stuff she did in 1987 lol...my babuska tends to scare me more dating wise like hes a serial killer, and I would end up chopped up and stuffed like an accordion somewhere... yeah seriously lol...
lol! damn i feel bad for you. i bet it was hard to sit and enjoy #2! lol
damn! talk about added tension whenever you were constipated! lol I am such a scaredy cat I would never have been able to sit down on the bowl for any extended period of time. lol
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