MASS EXPLANATION

A few people were asking me in my previous post what was the difference between me eating candy off a coworkers desk and my neighbors walking into a store and eating their product. Instead of putting it in the comments where they might not see it I figured I would explain it in a post because I know you won't be able to sleep at night until I explain myself lol.

The difference between me taking some candy off someone at works desk and walking into a store and eating their product is the police. The guy at work can only give me a dirty look and maybe tell me to get the fuck away from his shit. The security at the store detain and search you if they see you stealing their shit. I am a black man, I CAN'T BE TAKING THOSE KIND OF CHANCES!!!! If i was a little white hannah montana teeny bopper they might let me go but I am public enemy number one to them anyway so why give them a reason to call the cops on us? My mama would kick my ass if she had to come bail me out over a damn snickers bar




I'm not being a hypocrite cause I also said that I felt so mortified by being caught stealing by my coworker I would never do it again. It was embarassing.I was gonna make this post longer but its past 1 am and I gotta go to sleep. Thanks for the input and comments. Remind me to tell yall about the time I was gonna marry this jamaican girl to get her citizenship ok?

Ok I'll give you the short version. I was gonna marry her and get her a green card and she was gonna pay me 6 G's ( I was extra broke in those days). Tell me why I ask her when am I gonna get my money and she tells me she will pay me $200 a month until its paid up. I don't condone calling women the B word but I said BITCH PLEASE!!!!!




Don't nobody got time for you to be on that nothing but a dollar and a dream bullshit. I got bills. What the fuck am I gonna do with $200 a month, get cinemax? One of my friends said beside the two hundred I'd probably be fucking her on top of that, I told him my dick was worth more than $200 (stop laughing.....I mean it). My middle sister found out about this plan and almost unleashed the dragon on my ass. She told me that not only would I have to live with the girl until the time was up in case immigration showed up, but I would end up spending more than 6 grand on the divorce. If we were married a couple years she might be entitled to half my shit. Whaaa? Even though in those days my worldly posessions were: 5 fubu outfits, an old ass dodge intrepid with no ac, a tv/vcr combo and a copy of immature's first album on cassette I would be damned if I had to give that up.I swear I used to be such a knucklehead in my youth. What's the craziest scheme you ever came up with?