You ever been beat so long it felt like 2 whoopings? I took some major ones in my time (no homo).
one time my cousins came over and i wanted to go home with them and sleep over. I asked my mom and she said no.i was pretty bummed about it but my cousin said he asked her for me and she said yes.so when they left i got in the truck with them.Im over there doing all kinds of hoodrat stuff,playing nintendo,touch football and all that when in walks my mama. WHAT?!?!?!?!. i heard her in the hall asking where i was at.why would she come over if she told my cousin to take me with them? my cousin turns around to me and says HIDE!!!!!!!!
oh shit what did they get me into? there was a big box of clothes in the closet
**break** i know you asking yourself why is there a box of clothes in the closet?
Answer: this is the hood
i take some of the clothes out of the box and jump in the box and pull the clothes in over me.i bet i looked like an ass.the closet door flies open and theres big mama and she looks pissed.i dont know why i thought i did such a good job of blending in with the box but in my mind im a chameleon she cant see.my mama stares at me for a while then says "BOY YOU AINT FOOLIN NOBODY,GET OUT THAT BOX!!!" i still didnt get out because i knew it was a wrap for me.I get out the box and my mama is laughing with my aunt about how silly i was and how you cant do nothing with kids.she was laughing, that means there will be slow singing and flower bringing for me later.we get home and the worst possible thing happens, I DONT GET A BEATING. UH OH!!
that means shes making me wait for it. Her and my sister go food shopping (not the good kind that food stamps buys you,the cheap corn flakes shopping)when they come back,as the only man in the house its my duty to carry the groceries in.I feel like if i do a really good job maybe theyll forget about whippin me. I carry 4-5 bags in at a time like im popeye gone off that spinach.after i put all the cornflakes and peanut butter/jelly in the same jar away my mom tells me to go in the room
**break** now i dont really remember most of what happened next, but remember WWF back in the day when Hacksaw Jim Duggan would run down the aisle ,jump in the ring and start breaking everyone off with his 2x4? yeah it was something like that
after it was over and im checking my wounds,the door flies open and she runs back in there and gives me some more, she says " THATS FOR NOT GETTING OUT THE BOX WHEN I SEEN YOU".
why didnt i just get out the damn box?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
BEAT YOU LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHING
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9:52 AM
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damm.. I know you must have been terrified... To hide in a box in a closet under clothes lol.. jesus and the wait that was torture in itself.... Yes I remember my beatings.. I thought of something funny remember how the comics say white people don't know how to train there kids etc etc.. Not my granny(Russian jewish born again mommy lol)I dunno mabey it was that she lived in the projects when she was my age, grew up poor she has the hood in her i swear... but that woman scared the crap out of me... shoes, leather STRAP(aka a belt and buckle included on the ass whopping festivities....hands you name it.... and after there done why do they call on the lord???? my favorite after im done getting whooped .. I hear the bible says spare the rod spoil the child ... *dead*
lmao...I like this blog. Your posts all remind me of things that happened to me.lol Blogrollin it!
DAMN..When they don't whoop you right off but come back later, those are the worst kind to get.
hahahaha...oh whoopins. my dad only hit me once cuz i was his princess :D but my brother got it REGULARLY. he never learned tho!
one time he made him go outside and get a branch off our bamboo ( i know) tree and he whapped him with it! it probably wasnt that hard because there were no welt marks or anything...but damn the IDEA of gettin whupped HURT didn't it!
btw..feedjit is the lil box on the lower right hand corner that shows u whos visiting ur site! stalkeriffic!
lmao!!! this was funny. Lord only knows the butt whippings i took. my thing is how she gonna laugh at you then get all mad and stuff HOURS later AFTER you did her a favor?!? lmao that's parents 4 u
OMG that was TOO funny!
1st time here
*dead @ Hacksaw Jim Duggan*
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I remember my dad whooped my ass for eating icees that wasn't frozen yet. I kept sneaking them to my friends outside thinking he wouldn't notice. Came back in for the 4th or 5th time and he was standing on the side of the fridge with a big ass slavery belt. My mom didn't even try to stop him..smh
LMFAO! I remember getting those kinds of whoopings. My tactic was to put on all the draws I owned to try and cushion my behind,but one day she caught me and it was a wrap. Funny story though.
lmaooooo
man
i know bout them whoopings
im mad she came at u with the sequel for not coming up out the box
n0...mkay so I've had my blocked knocked off more times than I can remember by both of my parents....and for the most part, when I really think about it, I deserved it. But two punishments stick out in my mind - and I say punishments and not beatins per se cuz they were worse than gettin a serious ass whuppin.
The first was when I was about 10 years old and one of my friend's mother came downstairs talkin bout why we kept ringing her bell and playin on her bell. (if you don't know most people who live in NYC in apartments/projects have intercoms and you would ring bells to either actually get in or to play around and bother people) Anyway, my mother happened to be in the laundry mat close by and while I'm yellin at my friends mother, mad people had gathered around so I had an audience and I'm tellin her to shut up and nobody was ringin her bell and I don't care what she says - all I feel is a kick square up the crack of my ass. My mother then proceeded to yoke me up and make me apologize and then cussed me out in front of EVERYBODY and told me she was gonna teach me some respect. So I of course go upstairs and plan on never showin my face ever again and the next thing you know my friends are ringin my bell askin if I'm coming back down. My mother was like sure, she can come back down. Knowing damn well I had just got my ass beat and embarrassed and wasn't planning on go back outside ever again.
The second and worst was when I was like 11 years old and I stole some cigarettes from my mother and went in my bed and started smoking. Using a plastic pudding cup as my astray. My mother of course smells the cigarettes and the burning plastic (how fuckin dumb was I) and she comes in my room and I think at first she was shocked. Then while I think I'm gonna be murdered she says to me, "so you wanna smoke. come smoke." So I'm like WORD?! That's wasup! My mother is dope!! Do you not know my mother made me smoke almost a whole pack of cigarettes until I threw up orange shit and was sick for days. There was no need for an ass whuppin. That shit fucked me up for life. To this day I can't even really be around cigarette smoke without getting sick. Lesson learned.
OMG, I'm laughing so hard right now...that is some funny ish. I can just imagine you trying to blend in with some clothes in a box...
...LMAO...
Getting whoopins a.k.a. beatins were no joke...i remember my mom's pink belt. Everytime I saw that belt on the front of her closet door, I knew what time it was. On top of that, I was a runner, but that did no good. She put a switch in every room so that when I ran into a different room, there would be a switch already there.
lmmfatfo nodays, a box tho homeboy, come the fuck on....seriously....
so here go mine only i ain't get beat, family reunion right a damn shitload of ppl i am playing with shawn who is my granny freind daughter who came to the reunion, and shawn and her granny and grandad bout to leave right, so i run in the house and ask my granny plain as muthafuckin day, GRANNY CAN I GO WITH SHAWN AND DEM TO THE MOVIES PLEASE PLEASE CAN I GO... now i saw granny running her mouth so i took the wave of her hand to mean yeah gon and go i will tell ya momma where you are so i leave, we get back like 10 that night, tell me why we pull up in my drive way to cops and shit in the yard yall, i was like omg momma done fell out from the heat, or grandad done beat grtanny again i am thinking all kinda crap, so i walk in the house my older brother sitting @ the table eating family reunion food from earlier, i swear it was like everything was in slow motion, so i ask my brother i am like shad what's wrong, he like iono momma and dem thought you was kidnapped or somew shit he sitting there smacking on ribs and eating potato salad like it ain't shit so i run in momma room she sitting there tears running down her face, i walk in i am like momma i told granny i was leaving she said it was okay, her eyes got big as saucers when she saw me she gave me the biggest damn hug squeezed me till i couldn't breath, she like omg my baby where you been blah blah blah i was like mommy we went to the movies then the mall and we came home granny and dem all wiping tears all my aunts boo hooing step dad chain smoking and drinking gin like it's water, even my real daddy was there and shad sitting there eating like he ain't even care, lmmfao anyway i didn't get a whooping tho cause i guess momma was too glad i was okay, tell me why granny denied i ever told her i was leaving tho, i was like momma yo momma is a liar i did too tell her i was going with shawn.....i was like 7/8 when this went down btw.....done sharing now
HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!
OMG, I'm sorry, I was laughin' so hard thru this whole thing.
Dude, you are funny as well.
The box thing killed me
The WWF reference to old school Hacksaw Jim Duggan killed me
You carrying in groceries 4-5 bags at a time hoping she'd forget to whip you, killed me.
I can see your entire life.
Cuzz, my dad used to whip us in the bathtub with his belt - why the tub, I don't know, but he's from Arkansas so go figure.
As always, hot post, fool.
Rebecca- lol at your babushka
.the buckle hurts,trust me i know
chaunece- thanks homie
she needs.-isnt that the worse?
alien- thats old school right there.cutting your own switch
kei kei- i stopped trying to figure her out when i was 5
vixen-hey whats up.it wasnt funny at the time
lovely.what you stealing some warm liquid icees for?lol
beauty-lol i tried to put on a sweater one time lol ill post about it next
dejenae- yeah like it needed its own separate whippin right?
f.u. your mama did the literal ass kicking too? i thought it was just me
odara-lol at your mom resting up for the beating
chrissy your mama better than mine cause se dont forget about a whipping NEVER.you know damn well your granny got alzheimers and forgot what she said .why you frontin?
sane- in the bathtub homie? daaaanngg thats the south for you
chrissy- get off the box already.home alone was out at the time and i thought i was doing what macaulay culkin would do
LMAO! Not to laugh at your pain or anything! But your moms gets extra props for me on the stealth azz whooping!! I hope I can say that on TV. *lol*
Have a good weekend!
-OG
LOL rofl & CTHU When you talked about getting in the box I immediately thought about Orphan Annie trying to hide "Sandy" in the dirty clothes. *Side eye* don't act like I'm the only one that watched that movie.
BTW Chrissy u need to be a stand up comedian!
oooh,
two times w/ my crazy ass mom stick out in my mind indelibly...
once when i was about 10 my mom cooked something and put the damn plate in the oven to keep it warm. she told me to get my plate out the oven. so i did. without grabbing a potholder first.
i burned the hell outta my hands, i didn't think she had actually turned the oven on to keep the food warm. that was ol new sh*t on her part for reals.
so anyways, i dropped the plate. why i do that mess?
while i am crying w/burned hands and on my hands and knees picking food up off the floor w/my fingertips, she kicks me square in my ass.
and i had to spend the rest of the night half asleep soaking my hands in big cups of cold water to keep them from blistering up, and changing the water everytime it got to room temperature cuz then my hands would hurt again.
2nd time i was 17, and i was taking out the garbage. i said something slick out the side of my mouth to moms as i was walkin out the door.
when i was coming back in the house i opened up the screen door...
i saw her peeking at me from behind the larger inside door.
i knew she saw me seeing her.
i don't know why she had to hide behind the door.
that shit was creepy.
and yes she did jump me guerilla/green beret/navy seal style from behind the door.
and the worst part was i knew it was coming, but i didn't know how to avoid coming back into the house.
crazy as it seems, i hardly ever got whoopings, but when i did, it was over the top and the punishment didn't seem to fit the crime.
why the hell she get mad at me when i was 16 and went to the store w/o telling her where i was going. when i got back from the store w/my friends, she took her comb out her hair and smacked my hands. in front of my friends.
they clowned me for months on that.
bullsh*t.
ms biggie shorty
"lovely.what you stealing some warm liquid icees for?lol"
cause the red and green ones tasted like koolaid.. and they were halfway frozen so the way i figured I might as well go head and help myself
lmao u po thang! my brother used to get beat so bad it made me hurt too, i had to go hide in the bathroom after awhile so i wouldnt have to see, but i did catch an extension cord whippin one time, child abuse i tell ya!
ROFL!! It's good to know that I wasn't the only one who thought my mom's was the only one to fly over the cookoo's nest! With a last name like Belt you can just imagine the creative ways she would come up with to beat the black off me..
Example one day I stole a bunch of pennies out of her jar (must have been like 4 or 5) and thought I was set to go to the ice cream man who stopped in front of our school every day when it let out. Well my dumbass didn't spend all the money and as she was picking me up from daycare I get in the car jingling.. she's like what's that noise? I kept my mouth shut until we got home figuring she wouldn't kill us both on the highway with this news.. uh uh! So when we arrive home she asks again and I tell her nothing.. meanwhile as I'm saying nothing a hole in my pocket opened up further and pennies fell to the ground.. busted! She beat me for so long and bad she took a coffee break on dat ass and came back again. Needless to say I never stole NOTHING never again!! Thanks for the memories Nodays!! LMFAO!!
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