I done had money
I done been broke
I done been talked about something awful
Done been lied on by so many folks
I done even been depressed at times
and didn't wanna cry cause my
pride was too strong
But over the years I thought it over
And after struggling for so
long and still holding on
I figured, can't be nothing all
that wrong with crying
If anybody says that they're
that strong they're lying
Lyfe Jennings - Cry
Nowadays I have my own place and I appreciate it everyday,but that wasnt always the case.My sophomore year in college I listened to my oldest sister and moved off campus and got an apartment that she said she would help me pay for (thats another story).she never had the money so i left school to work so i wouldnt be dependent on anyone.plus i had to pay my ex landlord the money i owed for the semester. I moved in with my youngest sister (theyre all older than me) and to say it was not the business would be an understatement.
A few months earlier i had joked about dropping out and moving in with her,she had said that she would charge me $200 a month (i was 18 and jobless ,it was a lot of money back then).I showed up and told her id be staying there to save some money to go back to school and she said cool $300 a month.i said you said $200 a couple weeks ago she looked at me stupid and said what am i gonna do with only $200? i should have known then living with her was gonna be crazy.i really thought charging me at a time when i was down and out was a little grimey but thats how it is but trying to capitalize off your brother when you see an oppurtunity was downright shady.she could have at least waited till i finished paying off my other apartment.
Me and this girl battled about everything,my main gripe was how she always had to remind you this was her house.
whats this on my floor?
why you turned my air on?
you gotta keep my bathroom clean
that kind of shit.it would be wrong for me to sit here and act like there were never any good times,after all this was my sister.when theres food in the fridge and the bills are paid shes the best person youll ever wanna meet.shell sit up with you all night ,drink and laugh.but when ends werent meeting it was a whole nother story.What i really used to hate is when id get comfortable and start making myself at home she was so quick to pull the rug out from under me.one time we had came back from wendys and we both sat down on the couch and started eating and watching tv.do you know this girl actually told me no one was allowed to eat in her living room but her? i was FURIOUS !! but i cant be too mad cause it was all for a reason.me going through what i did gave me the drive i have now to work so hard so ill never end up in a situation like that again.yes this is the sister who flipped out on me for trying to defend her.
This girl was the manager at Wendy's and used to get free food.she used to make me go through hell just for her to bring me something to eat.She told me if i came to the store shed gladly hook me up,knowing it would take me nearly 2 hours by bus each way to travel.sometimes i couldnt believe this is the girl i grew up in the same room with.Life must have been really cruel for her to turn out that way on her own blood. but i forgive her,i never thought id quote a Will Smith lyric but
Let god deal with the things men do
because hate in your heart will consume you too
The worst thing about living in someone elses house is you when they cant meet their bills the atmosphere in the house is so uncomfortable.i started either not being at home ever or staying in my room the whole time.the lowest point for me was this place i was working at shut down and i had a hard time holding a job down after that.i couldnt find a decent job i could stand so i kept quitting (thats another story).so im not working right? i had no money and no job and i didnt want to ask my sister for nothing.so i would wake up, eat a bowl of cereal and go out and look for work.id come home and eat another bowl of cereal go to sleep and do it again.one day i got up and went to get some cereal and on the box in magic marker was "IF YOURE GOING TO EAT ALL THE CEREAL YOU MUST REPLACE THE BOX" i never felt so down and ashamed and angry in my life.what really made me mad is that when i have i never deny my sister anything but when im in need its funny how she forgets.
when i started working again i always had at least two jobs at all times and almost never called out.i took n0days0ff.i promised myself id never have to bow my head to nobody again.thats why sometimes i see somebody lazy or spoiled and i just wanna smack them and tell them how lucky they are.i dont have any ill will towards my sister.we talk on the phone and laugh these days.she knows she was wrong cause she just got a new house and promised if i moved in with her she wouldnt treat me like before.i laughed and politely declined.
Looking back on it, it wasnt really so much about if i was right or if she was wrong but more of i had outgrown being looked at as someones kid brother.there comes a certain point when you have to stop putting your name on the orange juice and move out on your own.if she didnt want me eating in her living room its her house and her rules.that is her business and rather than me fight her on it i had to get out and get something.so i started robbing people....naw im just kidding.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
NOT THE BUSINESS
Posted by
n0days0ff
at
5:41 PM
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8 comments:
I feel your frustrations on that situation. I mean I can be like that from time to time in my house because nobody wants to help me. Sometimes I say things like that and dont realize it. Like my bf says how come you always say shut my door instead of shut the door. But that comes natural to me when people just come in and complain and dont even offer me a dime. Like he will say to me why u always cookin chicken, I will just say I will cook whatevr you buy and I continue cookin chicken for the next week. I mean its hard when it seems like everybody is depending on you. You dont mean to take out your frustrations on people but you do. My sis came to me and asked me to stay with me and I told her sure and she would only have to pay $50 / month or one bill and she moved all her shit in my house, got a key and then never moved in. About 5 months later she said she had a place but she wouldnt even tell me where. Im like what kinda bullshit is that? I found out where she lived tho but til this day she still doesnt know. but thats how family is tho and i bust my ass everyday to make sure I can provide for my son.
i say it in a min, and i mean it FUCK FAMILY them the worst muthafuckas you can ever deal with, that is why i can't stand my older sister to this day, she cool as hell till somebody need her then BAM bitch hcnage on you, money runs her life, when her funky ass had her son, i was 13 yrs old this bitch too busy running behind her kids daddy to be bothered with her newborn, she left him with our mother till he was bout 3 monts or so i guess my momma worked @ night so all of the nightly shit of taking care of a damn newborn fell on me, my brother wouldn't do it, but hell i was a kid, i ain't know any better, i was just like you gotta help family right, 4 yrs later i had my daughter, i worked my momma got me a job where she worked @ cause she had that kinda pull, lol playing but my kids daddy which is now my husband worked too so he couldn't keep our kid during the day, guess who kept her, that bitch ass sister of mine she charged me 60 a week to watch my kid, and i was making no more than bout 200 maybe 300 every 2 weeks cause i was part time, all the rest of my money i spent on my kid, we all were living with momma @ the same time her ass wasn't giving momma shit but she gon tell me i need to give momma money i was like bitch fuck you yo ass stay in the gotdamn mall buying shit you don't even wear while ya son walking round wearing mofo k-mart clothes and payless shoes, and momma ain't asked me for shit.....
next story, we all moved out, we all moved back in with momma, i had progressed a lil in my work game, got a better job making 10.00 an hour lawd yall i was so happy cause that was the most i had ever made in my life, my sister's job was right down the street from mine, walking distance even, no joke, my momma was taking me to work in the morning, i ain't have a car, but momma got tired of it and said ride with ya sister yall work right down the street from each other, i took this idea to my sister she said cool i said to be fair you know we can just split the gas costs, this worked out for maybe 3 weeks and cause her ass knew i needed that ride to work, she gon come tell me she can't take me to work anymore cause it's just too much for her doing all that driving i had to quit my fucking job yall cuase her ass wanteds to play God and leave me ass out she knew i needed her, but she wanted to see me down, she lovesd that shit, i moved the fuck out my momma house, cause my momma got this mentality that women shouldn't work if they man make enough money so she was like just quit the job girl if ya sister won't take you, you will get another one and ya kid's fater takes good care of her so what's the big deal?????? i am like all yall fucking nutz and i SWEAR i will never look to yall agin to ever have my back,
i asked my sister last week to watch my kids for me for one day you know this bitch gon say well either give me some money to feed em or bring some food for em to eat, i sent they lil asses over there foodless and money-less and told my daughter if her ass don't feed yall, call me i will come and take care of it, but when her son was younger, no questions asked, i fed him, watched him took care of him like he was my own kid, i couldn't get that kinda shit from her bitch ass....that is why i say fuck em, don't ever call me asking me fa shit, and i won't call you, you can't get no money from me, no sitter services, altho her kid is 15 now, no nothing.....
damn Nod, that's hard. but like u said u have to go through things so that you can be a better person. I moved back in with my granny after me in BD broke up, i give her 450.00 a month and that still doesn't seem to be enough. Jan 09 i am moving out because it gets crazy..lol
there is no excuse to treat family like that! I mean no excuse!
most older sisters nurture the little brothers, what happened to your sis?... she was kickin' your ass down and stomping on your back!
Damn this shit hit close to home! I’d really like to beat up your sister, and Chrissy Snow’s sister as well. My momma always told me that nobody will do you dirtier than family will.
I’ve been in your place before…sort of. I’m the middle child, my baby brother is 15, my older brother is 28. My oldest brother Fatal, got 5 years in prison, my senior year in highschool. That very same year, his broad turns up pregnant. So this nigga gets sentenced, and 6 months later this bitch pops out Fatal Junior. This little bastard is bad as all get out, but I love him and treat him like he’s my own.
At least 2 weekends a month, I drive 2 fucking hours to go get this bastard and he spends the weekend being spoiled at my house. I figured my big brother, the first nigga to be down for me, and teach me how to not take shit is locked up, and if it were me he’d be down for my kid. So over the 5 years Fatal was locked up I’ve done it all. I’ve paid for daycare, bought school pictures, bought diapers/formula, and helped his baby mama when she was down and out… even though the bitch didn’t deserve. Her being a good for nothing hoe had nothing to do with my nephew so I always held it down for my brother.
Fatal got out in 06 and moved in with me and my dude. It was cool for a while until him and the baby mama started having drama cause he wasn’t living with her. Long story short this bitch was a tramp who gave this nigga herpes the moment he stepped out the penitentiary.
So of course he’s done, and he ain’t fuckin with the bitch. So he living at my crib, being taken care of like I’m THE BIG SISTER. I mean, I cooked every meal, did all the laundry, kept the house in tip top shape, and didn’t ask him for a dime. NOT A DIME. I helped this nigga get registered in school, and get a job, all while making sure he was comfortable in my crib. After all, he’s my big bro.
So after he stayed with me for a month or so, I started to get real aggravated with this nigga. He was constantly missing school to go out to bars and get drunk. This dude spent 75% of his cash kicking it, not doing shit for his son. Apparently, he expected what I was doing to never cease cause “that’s me nephew.” So I decided to sit down and have a ♥ to ♥ with his ass cause I was sick of feeling animosity towards him for not handling his shit. I told his ass that I was taking care of his kid for these last 5 years cause he couldn’t. Now he’s out, and has every opportunity to get on his feet and he needs to make the most of it. Apparently this hurt his feelings and he moved out of my crib within a week, only to catch a dope case 2 days letter and be sentenced to 6 FUCKING YEARS behind bars once again.
I of course felt like it was my fault. Like if I’d just let him run wild with hoes and shit, and live off of me, that he wouldn’t have felt any pressure to make some fast cash. And since he was sentenced (earlier this yr) I’ve struggled with this guilt. But I try and remind myself, that nobody will take advantage of you like family will. I didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted to see my brother succeed and be a role model to his seed, and he chose to do other wise. I got a letter from him yesterday apologizing for fucking up once again and getting locked up, so upon peeping your blog today, I had to let that shit out!
Damn… did I blog your blog?
My bad dude.
♥ you long time though.
that freakin sucks--
the worst part is how she would say it was HER house when you were paying rent... that makes it your house too!
chay-your sister sounds kinda shady.all up in your spot but wont let you know where she is
chrissy-gotdamn man i didnt know you had all that shit going on.no wonder why you such an asshole all the time.i kid i kid
kali-i can just imagine the endless dick you gonna be getting without granny there to cop block.lol
sexxy-yeah my sister be on that other shit
glo- no dont blame yourself for that shit.all you tried to do was help.i can tell from your blog that you just like me and you have a real big conscience and really feel guilty about screwing anybody over
sunshyne-i been in that same exact situation before.you have no idea how similar it is
maxie-my sister is so crazy i just give up on trying to figure her out.i just look past her faults
Well as the sister of a brother who has had to lean on me hard, I think your sister was right. I don't know if she knew she was. From my point of view she was trying to not let you get to comfortable. I'm not sure where her head was but I make things hard for my brother because he is irresponsible. He knows he has family to fall back, mainly my mother. Since I have always made it difficult for him I know he only ask me when in dire need. Because of that I help him. I may not do it right then but I always help him.
Recently I tried to help him. I told him he could house sit my house, he lives with my mother down the street, while I am away working in Boston for an undisclosed amount of time for 100 dollars a month. My plan was to give that money to my mother so she could have extra cash, much needed cash for a woman supporting two grown people with jobs. My brother pays my mother nothing to live with her. He eats the food in the house she buys and lays in the air she pays for. Anyway he moves in my spot and he loves it. He takes care of it. He is living the life of Riley in a brand new house, flat screens, and cable for $100 a month. So the rent comes due. He calls and ask can he pay me on the next week I say sure then no calls. No contact, no nothing. So about two weeks after that I talk to my mother and she tells me he quit his job. WTF? So then I say oh well tell him to have his shyt out of my place immediately and when I get home I'm taking his alarm code out of the system. He moves.
My rationale was if you feel you can just quit your job, then you ain't gonna pay me my funky big face. See you have figured out I don't need the money, which is right. You see I have NO ONE to stay with for a 100 bucks. I have NO ONE to lend me 20 or let me go late on the rent. I need you to feel the same way too. You need to have this same fire and drive and NEVER want to have anyone tell you what you can and can't do. I don't have the luxury of quitting my job because I don't like it, actually I do but I have enough experience I would get another job, however I would never quit a job with out a new job! I mean this fool couldn't pay me 100 a month, and he was employed the first month. You mean a grown working man making almost good money more than the avg American and living in Houston, couldn't pay 100 a month. Well of course not he was spending money like water on BS partying and clothes oh wait his car note ( not his insurance he still owes my mom for that)
I believe getting comfortable with taking is what breeds laziness. My mother yells at him occasionally but for the most part they behave as roomates who split the rent 100/0.
He recently moved to Atlanta and then moved right back 2.5 months later, thanks to me. He moved up there on a whim and found a new found appreciation for family and our uncomfortable way of helping him but making him more responsible. Anyway I want you to think that maybe its not the type of person your sister is, maybe she made it hard to live with her and tough to get free food from her because she didn't want you to get too comfortable with not having your own. I know that is how I feel about my brother. I realize that for some people to be responsible in life they need to have a moment in life like your or like my brother had in ATL. I mean after all look at how it drove your work ethic.
-OG
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